In a land far far away

Good evening everyone! This post will be slightly long, however it won’t be a ramble this time! I mean, of course it will be, but a more structured ramble. A ramble with a gps point of interest we’ll eventually get to. Yes. We are now on a road trip together. Woohoo! Did you bring the snacks and are you ready to sing along to Journey?! Awesome!

I’m in Hawaii!

I might have mentioned in past posts that my fiance lives here. I’m not sure! I’m back out here though so hopefully I’ll have some interesting pictures for you. Not Dee Dee quality (I mean, seriously!) but some photos and hopefully posts that talk about more than feet or whatever it is I normally post about.

Firstly, let me just share this.

Oh ho! I’m sure some of you might have seen it in the news last week and might be bored of it by now but ah well, serves me right for starting this post then and not finishing it! Let me just start by saying, I am not as brave as imaginary me likes to think she is. Join me in story time. I call this – ffs I just got here (also known as ffs I just woke up in other languages).

I arrived in Hawaii Friday night and so me and… I wonder if he’ll let me use his real name. Let’s give him one. Chad? Hey Chad. No, not Chad. Kevin? Hey Kevin. We need to talk about Kevin. Okay, no. Oh! He has a wp account. Okay. So me and Snek went to sleep soon after we got home. Saturday morning rolls around and we’re awake by 8. A few minutes later, the familiar Hawaii woowoo phone alert sound went off.
I’m actually used to this sound. It’s the flash flood warning sound that snek would always joke was north Korea attacking. Eh heh heh, yeah…

Buzzz buzzzz
“ruh roh, north Korea is attacking”
*snek picks up phone and opens message*
“what is it?”
“they really are attacking”

Have you ever imagined how you’d react in a situation where you had just received a message you were about to be bombed? Well no, me neither. But I’ve had my fair share of other heroic imaginary moments in imaginary disasters. You know, aliens attack and you save the day with your amazing diplomatic skills? As far as I know however, you can’t dissuade a missile not to kill you. Not even bullet bill. Anyway, he’s on our side from those blue shell fuckers.

We froze. It was surreal. We’re fortunate enough not to have experienced this before, but unfortunate in that we don’t know what to do when we’re about to. Snek was a hell of a lot better at reacting than me and he got lots of + points in the respect department from me that day. You need to realize, it wasn’t real. No attack launched. But for a however long it was, however short, we thought something was about to happen.

So while Snek is figuring out what we should do, telling me to call my parents and let them know I’m safe, comforting me about the mice and what we’re going to do with them (“what are we going to do about the meeces?” “they’re coming with us!”), trying to contact work and neighbours for advice, do you know what I was doing? No? Me neither. I do know I started preparing us a bag to leave with. I also know that for some reason I kept walking up and down the stairs. I also for some absolutely unknown reason started to apply make up. They won’t hit me if I have eyebrows, right? And then I remember breaking and yeah, I admit, I cried. I won’t say it was just jet lag and all the anxiety from the flight the night before built up. I just had no idea what to do and so when Snek said we need to stay put I got upset. Then called my parents. I mean, not that it helped that we saw fighter jets fly over a few minutes later and then a few minutes after that a small explosion! Who sets off fireworks in the morning, come on people! Dag nabbit!

Now, my folks are English. And Maybe that means nothing to some but I swear we play down everything we hear but 2 inches of snow. Maybe it’s some kind of genetic cynicism. I have to say I was also cynical, but I was also there!

When I called to say we’ve had a message and the island is about to be hit there was no panic. There was, “are you sure?” “yes, very sure” “but it’s not on the bbc” I’m laughing retelling this story, but at the time I was mildly frustrated! “it might not be but we’ve had the message come through and it’s not a drill” “well from who?” (as though there’s some mad man running around the island collecting phone numbers and sending out missile alerts to strangers) in the end I put them on to super snek (he wanted me to write that – he also saved the day by telling the missile “go home you’re drunk” – supposedly!) who explained it all much better than I could and then some as by this point we’d received the news it wasn’t being taken seriously.

Oh dear, someone’s work day was about to get a lot worse!

When the news did reach the bbc that a false alarm had been sent out I was sure told! Haha! I can’t blame my parents for not knowing what on earth was going on and for wanting to sure before panicking. Well it’s either that or I’m the youngest of four so not a huge loss. I’m joking I’m joking! I’m the only girl. One of the others can go. Go on! Get!

So yes. If you want to survive a zombie apocalypse don’t have me on your team. Not unless you want poorly timed jokes and eyebrows on fleek.

I’m posting this from my phone so I apologize if it’s a bit jumbled and some extra strange and special typos appear. I had planned to write about more than just the false alert but this post has become quite long as it is so I’ll end here and pick back up tomorrow! If you follow me on Instagram you’ll probably be able to guess what I’m next going to talk about.

I hope you’re all doing well!

19 thoughts on “In a land far far away”

    1. I can’t even begin to express how confused I am that I did that. It’s like, oh, gonna die, better clean my face! Need to look good for Death after all!


    1. Thank you so much! Me too! I wish I’d been posting the last time I was out here. There were some real downs but we managed to get out and see things and try to have fun, would have been good to write about. I might end up doing some flash back Friday things! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I love your stories and your hilarious conversational writing style! 😂. That *would* be freaky!! I’m so relieved that it didn’t ultimately amount to anything serious 👏🏼. I’m excited for you that you got to go on this trip to see your love! I hope your trip continues to go well, sans emergency alerts 😉💙💜


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