Yaaawwwnnnnn squim squim squamoosh

If you are reading this then it means I have written it and posted it on my blog. I would like for this to be more cryptic, but I don’t lead an interesting enough life to have been killed by some undercover service after my alien discovery. Or do I… no, I don’t.

Really, if you are reading this it means I have finally got me fingers tapping again and want to write. Got that itch. Must scratch. Halp! Send flea collar.

I’m back in England! Just back. Probably high on plane pretzels and really bad tea.

I want to get back to blogging like once before beyond a full moon when the wolf fur on my pads kept me from typing but actually this should say helped me with typing if I’m going to make this sentence make sense.

Let’s talk about airports.

Why not?

I’m really bad with them. I get super nervous. I always think I’m carrying a bomb. I know, why would I think that? It’s the same as when I walk through store thieving scoundrel detectors and I sneak through suspiciously because I feel like I’m guilty. Instead I end up making myself look guilty. Anyone else do this?

I think it’s why I get searched at airports. I haven’t opened my checked luggage yet but I’m expecting a note saying they had a rootle. There has to be another person somewhere in the world with my name. A terrorist of types. I hope she’s neat. Rescues snails from becoming escargot. Climbs over the barbed wire and collects them in buckets before springing back over and to freedom! One fatal error, one wrong step… that’s all it took for them to take her down. And now? I get searched. Curse you snail saving doppelganger!

I had some okay flights though. The first person next to me was my favourite type – the type that doesn’t talk. Actually, she’s probably my most favourite person that’s ever sat next to me. Want to know the only thing she said to me? “You want a chocolate?” Yeah, what a sweetheart. I said no though because, well, you know. Maybe she’s a member of the snail farm seeking to take me (my doppelganger) out once and for all. Huh. I’m turning into Walter Mitty. I can say that because I fell asleep through the film so I kinda know what it’s about.

The second person next to me was no one. Ah, sweet sweet luck to be sitting on my own so I don’t need to worry about accidentally trying to cuddle up to someone or falling asleep on their shoulder or speaking in tongues while my eyes roll around in my head while I dream. It happens to everyone…

Did I ever write about the woman I sat next to on my way to Hawaii? Ah, so worth mentioning again. She was really lovely but for someone like me I just need to be left alone. I can talk for a few minutes and then alarm bells go off and I shut down. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought headphones in and film on meant leave me alone. Doesn’t it? Because she tried to get my attention a number of times to chit chat when I did this, of course I talked back, she wasn’t doing anything wrong, I’m just awkward.

The one thing that really makes me laugh looking back on it though was when I fell asleep (I’d been travelling for about 15 hours by this point and it was early am my time) and she tapped me on the leg, woke me up, and said “You must be really tired!” why yes…yes I am, that is why I was asleep. Ahahaha, like I said. Lovely woman, I just need an invisibility cloak.

I watched a bunch of films. I kinda freeze up on planes and I’m always worried I’m going to make it crash, by, I don’t know, turning on my laptop or tablet or anything! So I just sit and watch the TV. I watched My Cousin Rachel, Walter Mitty, Crooked House, Murder on the Orient Express, Flatliners, the start of Geostorm (I was enjoying it but we landed before it finished), oh! And the first four episodes of the new series of Twin Peaks.

I’m really not sure what I thought of this new Twin Peaks. I really liked the first series but I just couldn’t get into the new one. It was exciting to see old characters but I didn’t feel a lot was going on. Has anyone seen it? Should I stick with it?

I think I’ve mentioned that I’m in a super duper long distance relationship and by super duper I don’t mean it’s bloody fantastic I mean we’re really far apart. On that note, all I’ll say is that I’m typing this just so I can say boo fucking hoo to the fact it’ll be another few months before we see each other again.

Dream me beside you

and turn back the time

to before we did part

your hand clasped in mine

 

Curse you distance.

Curse you lack of teleportation device.

Planes are pretty cool.

Vroooom vrooooom. Wait, what noise does a plane make?

 

 

24 thoughts on “Yaaawwwnnnnn squim squim squamoosh”

  1. Bloody marvellous you! Always se entertaining.
    PS- I would have been the same sitting next to you, offering you a (chilli oil infused) chocolate …then burying myself into my amateur blog head space hehe! 🌸😌

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Interesting story Arbie. By the way, this time you did not mention any vampires, lizards, frogs, demons or tarantulas on LSD, etc. Wait a minute…ok, I’m back, I drank some water, I was thirsty. Going back to you, You’re sweet anyway, regardless of your getting normal. I said my part. Thanks for the post. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I entered into a pact and now I can only tell the truth on a Wednesday! It was supposed to be a Tuesday but “they” felt that could too easily become a hashtag. Demons are really funny about hashtags… odd thing, really! I think it’s because there are no days that begin with D so they can’t have Demonic…etc, you get it. Sensitive topic! Thanks for readingggg! Always happy to see you! 😀 xx

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  3. Awww, sorry your boo is vive le distance! Wow, that was quite a selection of slang and words and stuff right there. I’m not sure I’m allowed to do that. *checks manual* DAMMIT! This comment box came from IKEA!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. HAHAHA! Christ, if it’s a comment box from IKEA then I’m impressed it didn’t end up upside down and inside out! I like IKEA, it makes me feel like a handy man. Only, I now have desk with a wobbly leg and a chair that is supposed to do things it doesn’t because I put screws in all the wrong places… but still, I did it damnit! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Assembly is so fun, isn’t it? I love the frankenfurniture people make out of multiple IKEA items sometimes.

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  4. Arbie, Arbie,
    La la la la laaaa,
    I’m singing ’cause you’re back, back, back,
    From travelling so far….
    Arbie, Arbie,
    I can’t wait to chat,
    Silly, things and squishly squings,
    And you can bring your cat.

    Okay loving you veeeeeeeeeery much and stuff and missed talking to you and things so…
    Kiss kiss 🖤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dude… I have to tell you… I totally got that Slytherin headband! Annoying and indulgent selfies will be incoming! I had to stop myself buying a Slytherin cap too…and cardigan…and uniform…etc, you get it! Frodo tempted me! Kisses and smooches and geez guys get a rooms! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhh!!!!! Can’t wait!!!

        I’ll get a bloody SUITE if I have to so I can indulge in all the sneaky Slytherin smooches ! So take that you jealous nellies!!!

        Wow. Weird and loved up. Love it.

        Don’t go away again!!!!!!!!!
        Okay can’t wait to catch up with your bloggy x

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Not sure what a plane noise is !!, I’ve hardly ever flown, maybe aeroplanes weren’t flying much when I was youngerer. I get the bus into town, drive down to the surf beaches, and go by train to the big smoke of Melbourne City, Not a propeller in sight for Ivor….. do the aeroplanes still have propellers these days, or do they have a new device to make them get off the ground…. That’s sad about your long distant Beau, bloody humbug for you. I once had a girlfriend who lived up Hamilton way, and that was over 3 hours away by car. That was back in 1972, Virginia was her name, eyes of blue and 5 foot 2….. Oh the sun’s setting, best I go, I got to go and light the kero lamps before it becomes too darkerer. Bye Bye, honey-pie. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gah you’re a story-teller through and through, even when you’re describing memories I feel like putting a blanket over my shoulders and sitting round a campfire to listen! Also, it’s strange because I’m sure I’d hate doing a route like that over here but imagining doing your route has a certain “I want it” quality to it! We’ve been looking at moving near the coast in England, won’t be anywhere near as glorious as your beaches! But I love it when it rains and is cold and I can wrap up and watch the sea – reminds me of the holidays my parents would take me on! Really happy to see your face, Ivor. 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, thankfully the peddle power machine worked because that song is bloody brilliant. I can’t put my finger on one reason why it’s just great! From the beginning I was like ooooo and his voice has a bunch of emotion in. So good! Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You tell the best stories. I think everybody goes into guilty mode when a policeman is nearby – I know I do. And yes to passengers on plane flights – PLEASE don’t make conversation with me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, exactly! A small nod and smile to acknowledge each other when first sitting and then a few thank yous and pleases along the way = poifect travel buddy! And thank you! 🙂

      Like

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