I think I was a xenomorph in a past life

Ey oh! Let’s go!

Saturday was the beginning of a new dawn! Okay, it really wasn’t, but I’m feeling dramatic so let’s be dramatic. Saturday was actually the day I started to get a little bit more level-headed. It was a rough few weeks, my friends, a rough few weeks. Lots of screaming and shouting and crying and attacking myself and others. Finally I’m coming out of it though. There was a close call yesterday, I thought I was turning again, but nope. Woke up this morning and weeeeeee, I’m alive! Okay, not weeee I’m alive, but weeeeee I have some control again!

Never drink an elixir prescribed by Dr Jekyll. In fact, never drink an elixir prescribed by anyone. Who prescribes elixirs these days? I mean, unless you’ve somehow been transported to another world (you lucky devil) then make sure it’s a good one that gives you super strength or the ability to read minds or something. Actually, would anyone really want that? What would you want an elixir to do?

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Where were we, I bet that paragraph makes no sense. That’s what I get when I always speak vaguely. I’m not trying to be all mysterious and, and uh, you know… One of those writer types that strokes their beard and broods and says “You’ll never understand me” before throwing a hand to their… no I’m getting confused with damsels. We need more damsels with beards.

Anyway, I did start writing the post The Dangers of Deception but I stopped because my brain kept doing weird things to it. Sentences wouldn’t sentence, words were all topsy turvy. I think I’ve mentioned I’m supposedly dyslexic (I say supposedly because I wasn’t told until university) but it’s more a mental unwellnesshealth thing at the moment, well, then the moment. Now, on the other hand, I’m writing parts of sentences yet to come because it’s an exciting time. It actually isn’t at all but I feel like I can do things today and so I’ll probably start writing another book to not finish haha.

Actually, what I’m going to do is finally look into advertising my book. So many anxieties though and ups and downs. Christ, I never factored it in you know? I never sat down and thought okay, gonna release this book and make a plan to advertise (which is already backwards – truth is I made a plan a few months back but then didn’t follow it because…) but I never thought oh and don’t forget you’re ill and some days you might think you’re a dragon and can fly but you really can’t and other days you might be attacking people like they’re trying to steal your gold and the other days when you are just asleep atop your treasure hoard… where am I going with this. Oh yeah. I can’t lead a normal life because I can’t function properly and so trying to manage something like advertisement, woooooo eeeeee. I’m sure it’s tough for everyone in the first place! I really should have thought about it though. I’ve been dealing with this rubbish for a long time and it’s cost me jobs, friends, family, relationships, and education things, what are those things, the scrolls, well those, and yet I didn’t think about it for this?!

Brain, you are a special type. I know that it’s very important to constantly fixate on door handles and making me feel shit about myself but c’mon, can we work together sometimes? Not everyone has to be our enemy you know.

Co-workers, pfft.

Anyway, I’m gonna do it though. Going to…

Completely forgot I needed to feed Seb her second dinners. She’s like a hobbit these days. Needs breakfast and elevenses. I need to write a post about little madame. Those of you who follow me on Instagram will know that she’s been sporting a new haircut, but a fair bit has gone on with her so I’d like to write it down.

She’s alright though, tough little thing and all.

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Sleepy little monkey
I’m going to start trying to get my book in front of people is what I was saying! Advertising it and doing a giveaway finally! I’ll make a separate post about that though.

I really want to start writing short stories but they take a special kind of skill don’t they. Or even a series like the No Sleep ones on Reddit. Would that be fun? It means you need to suspend belief though. I’d like to post it on my blog and on the site, I wonder if that’s allowed.

What the hell is this post about?

Honestly, I think I just wanted to get my fingers tapping again. You know, it’s so easy to think I’m just mean and cruel and lazy when I’m at a low, but that can’t be true because if it were then whenever I was in the middle or above I wouldn’t jump to write and take back some control.

As for my April post of things I planned to do. Ahahaha. Yeah. I did read one of the books though! I wish I’d written about it sooner because like everyone I don’t remember things for long and I like to give my impression when I first feel them. Bah ‘umbug.

Oooh, my fiance bought me some pretty dresses. I posted a picture in this one instagram but I like the dress so posting here too. Will most likely post more myspace-esque pictures in future post.

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I look like I’m about to do a little dance

 

So yes, I am going to be stalking these plains again for a while. Book giveaway free deal (whatever it is called) will be posted at some point as well. I’ll also try write about anything I find that might be helpful for you too. Will post about Seb. How is it still only 28 minutes past. Oh lord. I’m stuck in a time slip. Haaaaaalllppp!

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My cat in a wormhole

19 thoughts on “I think I was a xenomorph in a past life”

    1. Thank you! I don’t tend to wear much in terms of colour so I felt this was a compromise haha. Although, I did get a couple of light coloured clothing too. Look at me trying to be all summery! Seb always makes me happy too! When I’m away one of my highlights is being sent pictures of her cute little face! Such a wonder-weasle!

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  1. Oh lovely weird one, I love your incoherent posts, haha I don’t have to concentrate on what your saying, and if I miss a bit, it’s like reading a new interesting story, ahhhh, never a dull moment with Arbie. Loved your dress with the cute roses. For some unknown reason you’ve made me remember a confused little poem I wrote 15 years ago…..
    In My Mind

    Inside my head, in my bed
    Inside my mind, in a bind
    Thoughts of you, always you
    Visions of you, all of you
    In my mind, I’m so blind
    I’m so blind, to my mind
    Too many dreams, so it seems
    What’s it all mean, so many dreams

    Cheers my Dear

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    1. Ivor! Originally I had at the end of this post “… I wonder if Ivor is back yet” but I took it out due to seeming a bit clingy! Glad to see you here though! Yes, I think I often lose people when I’m talking and in a certain mind set, but I lose myself too so it’s to be expected! Never can quite stay on track! Thank you for sharing your poem! xxxx

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    1. Mother of dragons! Thank you! I think we could all use a dragon or two in our daily lives! Maybe three… perhaps squeeze in a fourth. How many dragons until you’re considered a hoarder?

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Nice dress. But, nicer post – don’t worry about things so much! Everything will work out. It gets better and better. Show me the book! I’ll check it out. I mean, buy it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! Worrying can actually be a really good thing for me and keep me safe! When myself in a more rational mind makes plans for me when less so it can be the difference between getting hurt and not. I’ll be writing a post about self-harm in the future! Worrying about small stuff though, could you give my anxiety a good talking to and tell it that someone knocking on the neighbours door doesn’t mean it’s death and his bone wagon? Sonuva… I swear, one more peep outta it! …The Dude seems to have gone to the bowling alley and taken Queen with him.

      My buuukkk! It’s not my proudest moment in writing, I’m hoping that will come when I’m older and wiser and writing about old and wise things like… see, not there yet. I’ll be posting about it going free in the near future! The end is nigh!

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      1. Bill is Nye!
        I’m sure your book is fine. Your anxiety…

        Hey. Arbie’s anxiety. Yeah, I’m talking to you. Back off, and let her breathe, if you know what’s good for you. Got it?

        😉

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  3. Did anyone NOT in the UK get the “Eh, oh, let’s go!” reference?!
    You’re a hilarious little monkey. Like I told you. I love all of the ‘yous’
    Wanna be my bff?

    Lol
    Although Slytherin and Ravenclaw are usually at odds, I reckon we’re at phantasmagoric evens. Or maybe beautiful odds? Nope, sounds like a Paddy Power advert… anyway. We click, is what I’m unsuccessfully saying.
    💜

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