[prompt]Wrong Sword

[WP] You clearly mail ordered a cheap, factory made sword. Then they gave you an authentic holy sword that made you into a chosen hero. Time to write a bad review!

 

* Bought sword to impress girlfriend and now Debbie won’t speak to me. \*

Got sword so that my new girlfriend (Debbie) would think I was as into LOTR as I made myself out to be. Thought it might even lead to some interesting bedroom activities since that’s what Steve said happened with his girlfriend when he bought some axe thing. Now the idea of Debbie dressing as a high elf is both not so appealing and probably not going to happen.

Sword arrived the afternoon that Debbie was going to be coming over, bonus I thought – prompt delivery. Soon after opening the sword (packaging was nice) realized it wasn’t what I ordered. It glowed a bit which I thought was a neat effect seller had forgotten to mention, but then it started to speak. It wouldn’t stop, even when I pushed it back into its leather thing.

Debbie entered the house to voices from the bedroom, mine and another woman. When I heard her call out to me I rushed out and closed the door behind me. The sword, or whatever it is, wouldn’t stop saying “I am your destiny, unsheathe me! Behold my glorious form!”

I wouldn’t let Debbie in to see but I tried to explain it wasn’t my fault, or another woman, it was the sword. Had forgotten the week before she’d nicknamed “the man downstairs” the sword. She now thinks I both cheated on her and that I’m blaming “the sword” for it. She left and now won’t speak to me.

So, thanks a lot seller user/theswordiscursed. I’m now down a girlfriend and up a “summoning at the darkest hour to seal your fate”. Christ knows what that means.

How about next time you warn your customers before peddling your faulty wares?

 

Reddit prompt from here!