stop with the vibrating just stahp it!

My fiancé’s bed does this vibrating thing. It’s not a sex thing, it’s a back-massage thing – supposedly, or something. I’m not sure. Basically, because of his chronic pain he bought a ridiculously expensive orthopaedic bed and a couple of the settings on the fancy remote make it vibrate. I’ve never found it too fun, or to do much of anything, honestly.

My cat-kitten, on the other hand, thinks it’s a blast. I wish I was making this up – because then I’d be sleeping better. Every damn night this week though (and day, or evening, if I happen to sit on the bed) I suddenly become aware that I’m vibrating and I look round to see Fenrir with either paws or butt on the remote.

Fenrir, the cat-kitten in question

I thought there’s no way he’s doing this on purpose. Until I made a point of purposely putting the remote out of the way and off the bed. I moved it onto the bedside cabinet and settled down. I believed that other than the announcement he makes every time he jumps on the bed, MAAAWWOOOOOWWWWWWWW (Haaaallllllloooooo!), I’d maybe get some uninterrupted sleep.

No.

Ungodly o’ clock and I am woken to the sound of Fen shuffling around by my head. Minutes later, but still half asleep and blurry-eyed, I feel it. Rrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrr. I roll over to see that Fen is back on the bed. Of course he is, how can he enjoy his massage from the cabinet.

“What’s going on?”

My fiancé is grumbling from beside me. I’m not sure if it’s the vibrating against the floorboards and the irritating sound it makes or if it’s the mild earthquake that’s roused him.

“Is it Fen?”

“As usual.”

Much to Fen’s disappointment I turned off the massage option and pushed the remote under my pillow. Little bugger didn’t get it from there! Well, until I was in the bathroom a few hours later. From there I was greeted by the grumbling sound of the bed juddering across the floor – so he did manage to fish it out once I’d moved.

I love Fen. Absolutely to bits do I love this kitten. He is one of the kittens we picked up from the colony of strays we found (more on that in another post). Actually, he’s the first kitten and the one that I caught. I lured him out from under a huge shipping container and pushed his grotty little butt into the carrier.

Fen as a 2-3 month old kitten in his usual spot

We’ve always had that special bond that sometimes you just get, right off the bat. He was this tiny, grubby little thing but he was special. I mean, they all are, you know? And, he’s still special! He does this thing that I have never seen a cat do before but that I’ve read means he’s ecstatic to see us. He lifts his tail up super high, curved up over his back his friend tail is so extreme! And he rattles it! It quivers and he lets out this great MAAWWWOOOWWWW! And comes rushing at us, nudging his head against our legs and coming in for cuddles full of purrs.

Fen as an eight month old kitten mushing his head against mine because that’s how we do, mawow!

Can you tell I adore him? I’m cheating a bit though, I adore all the animals I get the pleasure of being buds with. Remember Seb? My absolute rock for years, and Kimble, too. My first cat, Leo, who I still have! Bloody terror, but he loves me to bits and he’s my puppy (he’s a confused cat). My first axolotl, Arbie – she was both elegant and unusual and utterly amazing.

Ah, I’m smiling like an idiot now. I often say I don’t really have many friends… wait, no I don’t. That sounds like I’ll be somewhere, let’s say the post office and

 

“How many stamps?”

“One please”

“That’ll be amount of money you’d know if you ever bought stamps, please.”

“Ah, I don’t have many friends.”

“That’s nice. Amount of money, please.”

“Only a few friends for this lady.”

“Lovely.”

“Not many friends for me, no sirree.”

“Is that why only the one stamp?”

“No, that stamp is for the story. I’ve not even a friend to send a single stamp to!”

 

But, I don’t. Well, no. Wait. Sorry, all that rambling side-tracked me. I DO have a lot of friends. I just don’t talk about the number of friends I have or don’t have on a daily basis. Okay, phew… back to the point… which was: they’re just as much human as uh, not human. And that makes me feel pretty damn lucky. I’ve known a lot of awesome cats, ferrets, gerbils, hamsters, mice, rabbits, guinea pigs, fish, axolotls. And I hope to know many more. In me hut. Far into the woods like the witch I was destined to be! Ahaha, well, I already have a bunch of cats so I’m on my way there!

Aha ha ha

so many cats

ah ha ha ha ha

save me