A post like no other!

Yet entirely like all the others, so a good start? Bad start? I’ll tell you something, as I was about to question it being a bad start my laptop binged and complained it needed charging. So, bad start I guess.

I’ve been wanting to write for a while, but I lost a lot of that oompf that gets me to write – imagination mostly. Motivation? I’m working on it though. It’s weird, and I’m sure something many of you (everyone?) can understand, at least the chatter of it. But, my point was, it’s weird how losing my imagination left me feeling lonely. We’re all writers here, or readers, or I don’t know, tapestry weavers (now I’m just writing things because they rhyme) and I think we can all appreciate how characters – or creativity – can fill an otherwise lonely void.

Well, my brain has been filled with a hot mess of other chatter for too long and it shut up the good stuff. I’ve been quiet because that bad stuff has been out of control. I’m trying to regain control again. I’m not setting myself any rules in writing though. None of that write X number of words a day stuff. I’m setting myself rules in caring for myself. It’s weird, thinking that caring for ourselves can be so hard. I think because for a lot of us we don’t place the same worth on ourselves as we do others.

So, my quest (too much want to play an old MMO – am now speaking of quests…) will be to eat at least one good meal a day (I’ve never had a healthy relationship with food) and to drink much, much more water than I do. Weird that these are tasks to get myself in a better state for writing, but writing stories is hard when you’re brains a kaboogle.

Anyway, there’s more, like exercise etc. But, we’ve been here soooo many times before – that’s the thing about mental illness, it’s a damn fine rollercoaster – only not damn fine, more like rusty and kind of worn, squealing and groaning when the tracks start up again. I guess the water will be the oil to try and make the noise a little more bearable and the food will be… will be… I don’t have a fucking clue.

I’ll tell you one thing, after telling you all of those above things, part of the reason I’m writing this post is just to prove myself wrong. So, I’m sorry you’re reading this. But I was set on the fact I wouldn’t write again, partly because I just didn’t want to. The thought of writing made me nauseous, but what can I say? It’s a bad relationship. Always go back, even when I shouldn’t or I’m not ready to, only to make a fool of myself again.

There’s more interesting stuff going on that I want to write about, so I guess this is me kicking down the door (haha, more like timidly knocking – haaaallllloooooo) to get the ball rolling.

You see, we moved to a new state, well actually I’m in the process of moving to a new country. I can’t really say I have yet because they have to let me first. SO, more interesting things and less self-indulgent things I hope to be writing about like going through the immigration process – maybe. And decorating a house that for some reason is painted all yellowish beige throughout. I guess it’s a popular colour? I’m not one to criticize an old owner’s choices, it’s just not quite for us. I think I’d like to post what we’ve been up to. Diary and all that.

As usual I started out a blog post talking about health after a long time of no blog posts, but I’m not well and my life is very small as of right now, soooo, that’s that. But, I want to be well. I’m sick of regrets. I don’t like regrets. I get anxiety over having regrets I might one day have and over regrets I already do have. I’m trying to lessen the possibility of future regrets. I will regret this post should I write the word regret one more time.

no-ragrets-temporary-tattoo-2663

We also have a garden to do something about. I say do something about because I was so excited to have a garden with grass that we can work on together (in Hawaii it was mostly paving), only I didn’t factor in that grass grows A LOT in this kind of weather. All the time. Why keep growing? Why don’t you like the hair cut we gave you? I’m also not used to having a big garden. I’m sure in mainland America terms it’s average or even small, but in English, or even where we were in Hawaii, there’s a fair bit of it! I don’t even know where to start with making it pretty and there’s this tree that keeps throwing pine needles at me. I don’t really have a green thumb, but that same tree did give my husband a red one when one of its pine cones made him bleed! What is this evil tree witchcraft?!

So yes, I’ll try and take photos and upload progress pictures because we have some plans for the house, including making it cat friendly. As you know we have a lot of cats, and although they get along well, they really like their vertical space and a bit of privacy now and then, and so we want to give them more of it.

 

I hope you are all well.

 

Long ramble over,

 

Arbie out!

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Pictures of cats to distract from pointlesss post.

 

10 thoughts on “A post like no other!”

  1. Hi dear Arbie, great to hear you’re settling in, albeit, under the witch’s tree…. You don’t really need a green thumb, you just need good gloves, and sharp spade, and a strong back, and then you’ll end up with dirty brown arms, up to your elbows, and you’ll look like a gardener, then the nature in your soul’s imagination will take over, zapoow, with the aid of the friendly witch’s tree, and on the wings of tiny garden faeries, You shall have a pretty garden !! …… have fun….. ((Hugs))

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    1. Ivor! It’s so lovely to hear from you! While writing this post and looking at our garden the gardens of WordPress friends actually came to mind! Yours being one of them! I do need to get some gardening gloves. In England there isn’t much in a garden that can bother you, but here there are black widows. Although, speaking about spiders to you (you’re in Australia, right?) is probably pretty funny! Only today I saw a video of someone trying to catch a Huntsman! Wow! A friendly witches tree and garden fairies, aaaah that’s an inspiration! It might be a while until we can do too much as we need to put in a fence, but I’m keeping that imagery in mind for sure! xxxx

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    1. Hey Alex!! I’m in America right now, and will be for a few years (hopefully). We intend to move to England in the future but that will be a whole other immigration faff haha. I try to be open and honest, although to be honest (ah… haha) I hold back a fair bit. I’ll post more in the future I’m sure. I just get this nagging feeling of, “Oh, don’t post about all that again… it’s so dull”. And, I don’t like bringing negativity to others and I feel my posts about mental health can do that. I hope you’re well and the second book (I think you were in editing hell with a new book?) is going well too!

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      1. Yes, well remembered. Yes, very close. The finished draft is coming back any day now so final touches. I thought so but that comment about English threw me off sorry. You’re never dull and you can always post whatever you want 🙂

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  2. Oh Arbie, I have missed you! I understand the desire to put everything on the backburner when you’re not feeling well, darn you mental illness! *shakes fist* I hope things get better for you soon. Gosh, isn’t grass the most troublesome thing? You cut it and it grows back faster than ever! 😓 glad to see your words on my feed again! xx

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    1. Amy! Hello my lovely! Thank you for the fist shaking, I find myself doing this on a daily basis and now I feel like I have a comrade! And exactly about grass! It’s a scrappy little bugger – “oh, you wanna fight, do ya?!” and will just keep giving it its all until Winter comes! Hope you’re keeping well. 🙂

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  3. So good to see you back on WP again Arbie! I really want things to work out for you .
    Sad to see that you have been going through some mental anguish too – and I extend you the same offer of support you kindly offered me.
    We dug up all our lawns the first week after we moved in 🙂 Stacked the turf upside-down under a tarp for a year to rot down a bit, then used it to build the flower beds. We do not have any grass at all now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! Aaah, it’s so tempting to do something like that. Everyone around here seems to have lawns though so I’m worried if we did by the time we came to sell (we don’t plan to be here too long – a few years) it might cause us issues! I want to put plants in that attract bees but tell wasps to bugger off, unfortunately I don’t think this exists! haha!

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