For Fiction! For Country! For Biscuits!

Truth be told, I had no idea what to title this post. You know, like usual. Another truth be told, completely failed at trying to adjust my sleeping schedule. I couldn’t do it. I’m not able to stay up for 48 hours like in my Warcraft days. Although, not sure how often I managed that then either. I remember when Burning Crusade came out and I tried to rush to 70. I made it to Terokkar Forest (or whatever it was called) and then crashed. So many dreams of mushrooms and weird bird men. I think my school work was all about mushrooms from then on.

Anyway, I wanted to write here because I’m a bit too fuzzy to write fiction. That’s right! Fiction! Back in the saddle! Weirdly, I started writing because I was pissed off. I was really pissed off at everything yesterday, like fuck this fuck that the cat smacking all the things off a shelf kind of pissed off. I just wanted to scream and so instead I keyboard bashed.

I didn’t write a lot because I got a bit scared off from it when I realized I don’t actually have much subject knowledge on what I’m writing about. The core story itself is one I was thinking about a few weeks ago, and I guess it just came out as this thing with a journalist as the main character. I don’t know much of anything about journalism. I studied it for a year but I can’t say I was any good at it. The other subject is police work, and I guess being a florist (although not a police officer florist) but then again, I also don’t know anything about murder so hey, ho, off we go.

I know that for readers it’s important that the story at least makes some sense when it comes to real world professions and procedures, but I think I’m going to be writing this more for myself and so when I do post it for free on some website or another (here included) I’ll ask for a bit of forgiveness. The story is supposed to be a horror, with a murder mystery on the side. If I ever finish it, of course.

I’m kind of letting myself down though. If I had actually finished everything I’d started I’d have a lot of stories under my belt by now. I’ve spoken in the past about how much fear has held me back though and this damned need to be perfect, or just good enough. It’s always there. I really admire writers that just get on with it, I want to feel a bit better about myself so I plan to just get on with it at this point too.

I think one of my issues is I’m a pantster. Partly because I write characters better that way, partly because I really struggle with structure (I’m very unorganized and get extremely stressed when trying to plan anything – any tips from writers that plot are very, very welcome), and partly because I usually write when I have a burst of energy so I just want to get on with it. Energy mind, not inspiration. I know if I waited around for that I’d be wasting my time. And I obviously never do that! Ah, ha ha ha…


So, yeah. I’ve set it up as a project on Nanowrimo, but I don’t intend to break my back over hitting 50k given I’ve written under 1k so far. Worst thing is, and this thought kind of belongs in the above paragraph but we’re here now, I think that to write a good murder/horror I should be plotting it. Otherwise, I’m just setting myself up for more work come the edit with retracing my steps and putting in clues or changing whodunnit or whatever.

Well, that’s it, I’m done writing in here for now. I’m going to swallow this lump in my throat and go back to writing fiction. Why the hell have I made even that so stressful? I guess I need more of a “fuck it” attitude.

Hope you’re all doing well!

Arbie x

One thought on “For Fiction! For Country! For Biscuits!”

  1. A more of “fuck it” attitude is the way to go… as you know Arbie I only write little short pieces of poetry, so I am of no help at all, although I can provide some good backgroud music for your story … when they turn it into a movie…. yeah !! I hope you enjoy the “Dirty Three”…..


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