Everything is spiders

I’ve never been one to be afraid of spiders, but then I’ve never lived in a country where they are considered dangerous. You might remember that I started writing a book a long time ago now about a spider. I wanted people to be kinder to them, more respectful. That hasn’t changed, although my respect for them now comes at a much further distance without any desire to let them run across the palm of my hand.

It’s my first Winter here and although I didn’t see much of any kind of spider (other than what I believe are called parson spiders) throughout the summer I am now starting to see small brown spiders rearing their heads and legs around the house. Well, until one of my cats finds them and then with a bop the spider is playing dead. At first, (because I knew there were a number of spiders to watch out for) every black spider was a black widow and every brown spider was a brown recluse – apart from Nightwatch. I’m not sure if I mentioned Nightwatch, but she was a black crevice spider that lived in the screen of one of the bedroom windows.

This mentality that every spider I see has the intention and means to kill me (I’m sure even a clean up crew at the ready and a shovel out back) has now changed. I have finally seen a black widow! That is not black! It is brown! This was highly confusing, but not a disappointment. I’ll admit, I was waiting for the moment when the spindly legs I spied dangling out of a gap or watched crawl over a web would belong to a black widow, or a brown one, however it chooses to identify, I guess. That being said, I understand how dangerous these spiders can be so I wasn’t about to poke at it, but I did crouch down to admire the hourglass on its abdomen.

I know this post might be making some people’s skin crawl, and some Australians shrug “pfft, child’s play, wait until you see the eight-legged crocodile with the shark fin” – that probably doesn’t exist, but I’ve heard everything in Australia wants to kill you and so that creation sounds suitably deadly. Anyway, I apologise to any arachnophobes. I find spiders uncomfortable to be around, and the dangerous ones, well, dangerous, but I like to owe them a bit of respect. They weren’t always the “sinister” creatures that they’re now perceived to be, and, after reading Charlotte’s Web as an adult, Charlotte A. Cavatica is now one of my favourite fictional characters.

All that being said, I’m less eager to see a brown recluse. Especially if they are more likely to be found inside. I don’t so much mind spiders outside (they need somewhere to live, after all) but inside when I have my cats to worry about… they’re not so welcome. I’m sure if I do see one then the first thing on my mind isn’t going to be curiosity but instead more likely WE’RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE…

Ahem, which brings me back to everything becoming spiders. Ever since these small brown spiders started to appear in the house, everything is spiders. Even though I’m fairly sure they are not the brown recluse but instead a metaltella simoni – look at me trying to be all fancy, try asking me its name when I don’t have my phone handy – I am still wary of them and treat it as though it could be a brown recluse for the sake of the cats.

The problem is, it’s the cats messy eating habits that have me hopping on one foot after mistaking a small brown blob of kibble on the floor for certain death (okay, not certain, but fear leads to exaggeration!). You see their food when only glanced at holds a striking resemblance to a balled up brown spider and before I can rationalize or investigate my brain says one big NOPE. As such, everything has become spiders and I am now playing a daily game of the floor is lava, or more suitably, the floor is spiders.

This blog post was brought to you by Arbie who apologises if it is inanely boring but she has plans to write again and we all have to start somewhere. Given everything is now spiders, it only makes sense this blog post is also spiders.

Thank you fospiders your time anspiders I hopspiders you’re all spiders.




6 thoughts on “Everything is spiders”

  1. As an Australian, I can confirm that everything in our country does indeed want to kill us. (As a point of reference, check out the Sydney funnel web spider, they’re highly toxic and also, y’know, terrifying)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was going to begin this reply with “Why, Amy! I trusted you!” But only a fool googles funnel web spiders while half asleep and expects to come out unscathed! Have you seen any of those beasties? I miss ol’ England where I think the top deadliest animal listed was either a seagull or a cow. I can handle a seagull after my chips, can’t so much handle a spider after my life! Haha!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha. I’ve experienced that paranoia, mostly when a spider is uncooperative & I lose sight of one in my capturing attempt. I have an official bug glass &post card that I use to take out multi-legged intruders. Some non-biting spiders have been left to live in a corner. We have a symbiotic relationship as long as they stay put, so I like that you had Nightwatch. Cool name

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Or when I accidentally walk through a web and I’m convinced for hours that it’s on me! Haha! And thanks! It was actually a paint colour we were looking at and when I saw her the name fitted her much better!


      1. Oh that’s the worst! I have long hair too, so I shake my hair & nearly give myself whiplash hoping a spider isn’t in there. That is an interesting way to name a spider. My name’s are less imaginative. Once had a George in the back door corner, 2 more of the same species made corner webs, so we had George I, lower level George & Penthouse George. Good talkin’ spiders with ya.

        Liked by 1 person

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