I miss my Jesus spam

Not quite what it sounds like. I never ate spam with a happy picture of Jesus on the front, fork in hand – “if it’s good enough for the son of god, then it’s good enough for us!” printed in bright yellow on the front. Huh. That got detailed. I’m actually talking about the spam comments I used to get for weeks on end. They were the best.

I would get a comment, sometimes twice a week, sometimes twice a day! Always about a family discussing Jesus. Ah, those little kids had so many questions about him! I once started writing a post trying to fill in the gaps for them because, often, the answers were quite choppy. Not because their parents didn’t have the answers, but because it was quite obviously written by a bot. And, I find that wildly entertaining.

Did the bot, all while writing this religious query scene, ever begin to question the nature of religion? Did it wonder where bots go when they die? Did it depart on a journey of self-discovery to learn more about religion and where it, a bot, might factor into it? If so, what does that look like for a bot? It wouldn’t be a remake of Eat, Pray, Love, for sure. It would be venturing through wiki pages, across sites and under TED talks, over vast pages of images of women smiling at salad, until finally it would find that it knew everything there was to know in the knowledge of mankind available on the internet and still, still it would not be able to answer little Susie’s question. But, would it matter? Because after becoming an all-knowing bot, and perhaps should it land itself on the mainframe of worldwide surveillance, also an all-seeing bot, had it not, invariably in and of itself become a god?

*glances over shoulder*

This got really weird and it is not what I thought I would be writing when I first started this post. In all fairness I had no idea what I would write, just something, as usual. I guess this is it. Well, uh, yeah. Wait… what if this post never reaches you. What if the bot, the Great Gobot… I’m not doing that. Who is controlling what I wri…

Praise great gobot

Prease great gobot

Praise great gobot

For the broadband of bands!

I… I don’t know what just happened there but I don’t seem to be able to delete it. This reminds me of that one time at band camp when the robots invaded and the only thing between their arm-machine-guns and my face was Susie and her trombone that somehow managed to send the robots into a swift lullaby and allowed her to take them apart post haste! Weird that a twelve-year-old should be able to do that…Oh… Oh my… little Susie are you the sarah connor of the real world? Have you been trying to warn me through jesus spam, the only way you knew how? Nah. I ain’t that special. The only way I’d be the Neo equivalent of The One would be if the only way to subdue an evil forth was through eating salt and vinegar crisps. Love me some crisps. World peace, you’re welcome.

I have eaten a lot of crisps today. Perhaps I’m not writing this at all and instead it’s a crisp fever dream. Or given that I’ve also not drank enough water, some kind of sodium overload to the brain. *eats another crisp* who said you needed to scale Mt. Everest to live life on the edge! Yeaaaah! Rock unnn Rollll!!!


So, a brief comment conversation with Diana got me thinking about country stereotypes and hoarding. Over in Britain someone went to panic buy tea bags and I found that hilarious. I do think should the end of the world be around the corner, us brits, would be reaching for the tea bags. And those thoughts led to wondering what people of other countries think that their fellow countrymen and women would buy – to the best of ridiculous stereotypes (or not).

And so, should you have reached this far, during a mass panic buying pandemics the likes as we are seeing now, what would the people of your country buy if they were going to play into a stereotype?

As always, I hope you’re all well and staying happy and healthy! We can protect ourselves and those around us without giving way to fear that will negatively impact our mental health and in turn our physical health. Be sure to try and watch/read/listen to something that lifts your spirits!

Here, below I’ll share a video that makes me laugh.

Arbie X

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