Ey oh! Let’s go!
Saturday was the beginning of a new dawn! Okay, it really wasn’t, but I’m feeling dramatic so let’s be dramatic. Saturday was actually the day I started to get a little bit more level-headed. It was a rough few weeks, my friends, a rough few weeks. Lots of screaming and shouting and crying and attacking myself and others. Finally I’m coming out of it though. There was a close call yesterday, I thought I was turning again, but nope. Woke up this morning and weeeeeee, I’m alive! Okay, not weeee I’m alive, but weeeeee I have some control again!
Never drink an elixir prescribed by Dr Jekyll. In fact, never drink an elixir prescribed by anyone. Who prescribes elixirs these days? I mean, unless you’ve somehow been transported to another world (you lucky devil) then make sure it’s a good one that gives you super strength or the ability to read minds or something. Actually, would anyone really want that? What would you want an elixir to do?
Where were we, I bet that paragraph makes no sense. That’s what I get when I always speak vaguely. I’m not trying to be all mysterious and, and uh, you know… One of those writer types that strokes their beard and broods and says “You’ll never understand me” before throwing a hand to their… no I’m getting confused with damsels. We need more damsels with beards.
Anyway, I did start writing the post The Dangers of Deception but I stopped because my brain kept doing weird things to it. Sentences wouldn’t sentence, words were all topsy turvy. I think I’ve mentioned I’m supposedly dyslexic (I say supposedly because I wasn’t told until university) but it’s more a mental unwellnesshealth thing at the moment, well, then the moment. Now, on the other hand, I’m writing parts of sentences yet to come because it’s an exciting time. It actually isn’t at all but I feel like I can do things today and so I’ll probably start writing another book to not finish haha.
Actually, what I’m going to do is finally look into advertising my book. So many anxieties though and ups and downs. Christ, I never factored it in you know? I never sat down and thought okay, gonna release this book and make a plan to advertise (which is already backwards – truth is I made a plan a few months back but then didn’t follow it because…) but I never thought oh and don’t forget you’re ill and some days you might think you’re a dragon and can fly but you really can’t and other days you might be attacking people like they’re trying to steal your gold and the other days when you are just asleep atop your treasure hoard… where am I going with this. Oh yeah. I can’t lead a normal life because I can’t function properly and so trying to manage something like advertisement, woooooo eeeeee. I’m sure it’s tough for everyone in the first place! I really should have thought about it though. I’ve been dealing with this rubbish for a long time and it’s cost me jobs, friends, family, relationships, and education things, what are those things, the scrolls, well those, and yet I didn’t think about it for this?!
Brain, you are a special type. I know that it’s very important to constantly fixate on door handles and making me feel shit about myself but c’mon, can we work together sometimes? Not everyone has to be our enemy you know.
Anyway, I’m gonna do it though. Going to…
Completely forgot I needed to feed Seb her second dinners. She’s like a hobbit these days. Needs breakfast and elevenses. I need to write a post about little madame. Those of you who follow me on Instagram will know that she’s been sporting a new haircut, but a fair bit has gone on with her so I’d like to write it down.
She’s alright though, tough little thing and all.
I’m going to start trying to get my book in front of people is what I was saying! Advertising it and doing a giveaway finally! I’ll make a separate post about that though.
I really want to start writing short stories but they take a special kind of skill don’t they. Or even a series like the No Sleep ones on Reddit. Would that be fun? It means you need to suspend belief though. I’d like to post it on my blog and on the site, I wonder if that’s allowed.
What the hell is this post about?
Honestly, I think I just wanted to get my fingers tapping again. You know, it’s so easy to think I’m just mean and cruel and lazy when I’m at a low, but that can’t be true because if it were then whenever I was in the middle or above I wouldn’t jump to write and take back some control.
As for my April post of things I planned to do. Ahahaha. Yeah. I did read one of the books though! I wish I’d written about it sooner because like everyone I don’t remember things for long and I like to give my impression when I first feel them. Bah ‘umbug.
Oooh, my fiance bought me some pretty dresses. I posted a picture in this one instagram but I like the dress so posting here too. Will most likely post more myspace-esque pictures in future post.
So yes, I am going to be stalking these plains again for a while. Book giveaway free deal (whatever it is called) will be posted at some point as well. I’ll also try write about anything I find that might be helpful for you too. Will post about Seb. How is it still only 28 minutes past. Oh lord. I’m stuck in a time slip. Haaaaaalllppp!