I love Flapjack

Hey everyone!

I know I always do the thing of pointing out the day or the month and acting surprised about it, and I will stop – when it stops. >=( this is supposed to be an angry face, I hope it works. Time is being all deceptive and tricksy and so I will keep drawing attention to this until it backs the fuck up and takes a minute to just chill. At this rate it will be December in a month and…oooh, oh thanks time, that’s right, it WILL be December in a month. You just like to see me broke don’t you? Time is a jerk, ladies and fellas. Come at me Christmas. I can get hold of some coal. Sorry everyone I know, you just missed the nice list this year. What? If Time can be a jerk, I can be too.

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I swear there’s a reason for this

Another thing I’m going to blame Time for, even though it is actually my fault, is how little I’ve been reading these past few days. My boyfriend just got in from America and so my attention has been on him and my ferrets. And my asshole cat, but he’s needed it because the fireworks have been ridiculously loud this year.

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Just trust me on this one

I know Diwali has recently been celebrated and we’ve just had Bonfire night, any other firework celebrations been going off? I love the look of them, but the really loud banging ones are dumb. Maybe it’s because I have pets, maybe it’s because I just like to ruin everyone else’s fun, but I was ready to cut a bitch this week when I had my cat hiding under the couch, a ferret hiding in a box, and a sick ferret trembling under my bed because someone thought hey, hey, let’s not have cool sparkly amazing looking fireworks… let’s make it sound like the apocalypse is coming! I’ll show you the apocalypse *grumbles and waves walking stick* back in my day it was a pub bonfire, a hot chocolate and some kid going home with a sparkler in his eye. Good ol’ days.

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Honestly this is going some where

This is my favourite time of year though, probably because I like to complain and it gives me a lot of good things to complain about. I mean, the Summer is alright because in England we all get to have a mass head shake and shoulder shrug accompanied with a carefully timed tut when it starts to rain after a brief spell of Sun. Autumn and Winter though… that’s where the good stuff is at. It gets colder so I can complain about the weather even though I like it, it’s Halloween so I can complain about kids even though I love seeing the costumes, it’s November so I can complain about Christmas being advertised already even though fuck yeah mince pies, it’s Christmas so I can complain about… well Christmas, but again, fuck yeah mince pies and getting a stone heavier! Ah, good time of year.

Hey…

Hey, wait…

Do you think maybe Time is actually on my side and so rushing to this time of year because it knows how much I like it? Nah, me neither. Time’s a jerk.

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I don’t even know if this is the same thing but I like it too

Anyway, now that my boyfriend is here I’ll be able to go back to celebrating Halloween and I’ll finally be able to watch Stranger Things season 2! I’ve been told ALL the good things about it so these hopes are as high as a kite. On Netflix there is an image of a massive looking spider so I’m interested to see what that is. Oh, speaking of weird creatures. I need to show you this.

This is the flapjack octopus, for all those who like me didn’t know beforehand. It is so bloody adorable that we had to look it up after watching Blue Planet II.

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I want one. Actually I want ten thousand of them. An army! March forth!

I’ll also now be playing Until Dawn which is, as I think I’ve already mentioned, a game I’ve wanted to play since its release. My boyfriend bought me a PS4 and the game after I told him about this but I wanted to wait until he was here to enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me being sweet and thoughtful as a thank you for the gift, he’s scared of his own shadow and so I want to enjoy seeing him spooked. Muahahaha. I’ll be sure to let you know all about it! We’ll also be watching scary films.

Oh, ooooh! Remember how I told you I thought a ghost had a bit of a thing for me and so followed me around and stuff? Well, a couple of nights ago (yes I’m blaming a ghost for this) it broke my Xbox controller. Not in just any way though. Oh ho ho, no. I was watching a TV show called Lore and when the final episode ended and I went to turn it off it instead replayed and wouldn’t let me do anything other than rewatch the episode and listen to the creepy voice speak at a few notches faster than normal. The episode? About bloody doll island! Flashing images of doll heads and ventriloquist dummies haunted me that night. Weird thing about it is that if the A (select) button was broken, then when I managed to navigate to the menu it should have started to select the options I hovered over, but it wouldn’t. It would only work on the doll episode. *shudders*

Okay, and last thing about Halloween. When I posted about it last week I was asked if I dressed up, truth is I didn’t. BUT, I did accidentally leave a wig I was looking at getting for dress up in an order, so I put it on. I also did my make up more make uppy, however I don’t know how to apply make-up so yeah. Seriously though, have you seen those make-up magicians on YouTube? How. It doesn’t matter what fancy brushes I get I still can’t do the eye thing with the smudging. So yes, since I always post on a selfie on a Sunday, although right now I’ve forgotten why, here we are.

 

About the selfie thing. I was reading this to my boyfriend and when we got to the selfie part he asked me if I remembered – I know it was something to do with self-esteem, although I’m still chicken and get really nervous with Instagram, for some reason. That being said, I’m not sure if it’s become a habit thing. I now feel like it’s part of the weekly blog and if I forget (like I have) it feels weird and like I need to or something will go wrong. I don’t think it is anything to do with my do this or this will happen way of thinking, but will be a right laugh if it is. Post a selfie or you will die. Okay, brain. Keep your britches on.

Lastly, FERRETS!

I’m so pleased I got those wonderful pictures of Seb for Halloween, and I’m sorry to all of you who saw them already, but I’m going to post them again, okay? They’re too cute! So here’s one of them!

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I also managed to fiiiinally get a somewhat Halloween-ish picture of Pandora, so here’s that too!

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As for Seb’s health, more confusing results have come back so now she’s had the referral go through to see a specialist exotic vet. I have my fingers crossed that she’s getting better but that might be the steroids she’s on helping with the Insulinoma. Does anyone know if steroids can also help with getting over a nasty infection? Yeap, that’s right, still got my ant high hopes that it was just a real nasty bug she’s recovering from.

Okay, this has really gone on. Sorry! Anyone make it this far? You there, in the back! I see you. I got you, bud, you and me surviving this fireworks apocalypse together!

Oh! Last thing, I’ve switched my project from my Jack the Ripper novel to working on a gothic fantasy instead, so I should be posting some fiction this week. It’s a rough first draft of the beginning of Jack so it’s not the best, but I haven’t posted fiction in a little while and it’s something suitable for this time of year! For some reason. I dunno I like reading mysteries and what not in the Winter. Nothing like the fireplace and a good killing to soothe the soul.

Shhhhh, Arbie.

Okay.

(bye bye!)

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Eh heh heh heh heh

 

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Boy, I wanna warn ya…

It’s here! Well, almost…kinda. Halloween is only a couple of days away! Are you celebrating? Are you one of the many people watching Stranger Things? One of whom I can only look at through the window pane like you’re eating caviar by a roaring fire and I’m in fingerless gloves outside? Look, I’m sorry for the drawn out sentence but you know I can’t write no good and also my mind is a blur with Stranger Things envy. I need to wait until next week to watch it! If you’re enjoying it blink once, if you’re not blink twice, if you’re going to post a spoiler get outta here! Go on! Get!

I actually have no plans for Halloween this year other than my usual hexes. It’s like how people write out a bunch of cards at Christmas but I make sure I give the gift that keeps on giving at Halloween and curse people with frogs in their ears and endless marmite on toast for breakfast. Still though, I want to dress up. So I might find an excuse. Like a party with my neighbours! Only they don’t know how I got in their house and are surprised you can still get a decent sounding boombox anymore.

(I leave notes for myself to remind future me what to put in my posts to break the text, for this I wrote Ballwoom Blitz…Ballwoom. Jeeves! Put the guests in the ballwoom! ahahah)

I’ll also be watching spooOoooOOOoooky films. Oh, I watched Dracula on Friday (Bram Stoker’s but really Gary Oldman’s Dracula). So, pointy teeth sexy sexy. Don’t get me wrong, I love vampires. I breathed the stuff when I was younger: read it, wrote it, watched it, thought hey why can’t I be Dracula life isn’t fair. But I just couldn’t help but love the film on a whole new level this time round. I’m not sure if it was my more established appreciation of the actors, or well, just me thinking my thoughts where I think that I’m hilarious.

For example, Jonathan Harker’s correspondence with Mina really got me. Missed out a few details, didn’t he? His journals, letters, meandering thoughts really should have gone something more like this…

My dearest Mina,

Sorry I haven’t been able to get a message to you sooner. There are few who pass by here and I fear I am trapped. Oh, also been involved in a tad few orgies with some chicks that appeared out of a bed. Was all going great until things got a bit bitey and that miserable bloke I’m staying with decided to walk in. Mad stuff!

I think of you daily. You are the sun I dream rises when I am engulfed by night.

I’ll be home to you soon,

My love,

Jonathan

P.S Can you actually maybe just ignore that orgy bit? Really didn’t mean to tell you that just got a bit carried away and we haven’t invented a delete button yet. Thanks. Yours and stuff, Jonathan.

 

Meanwhile, Mina is having her own new love affair with Dracula and some seductive wolf stroking. Yesss, mmmmm, that’s it, rub your leather gloves on my leather gloves. Poor wolf is just sitting there like “Guys, guys, this is getting a bit weird, guys…”

 

 

Also never realised how much Dracula wanted senpai to notice him…

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Other than watching Dracula and wondering who it is that Lucy reminds me of, I started to watch The Changeling (but fell asleep so must retry) and watched Candyman.

If you ask me Candyman has it right when it comes to love. Just keep killing everyone around your object of desire and having her take the blame for it and all will come right in the end. We need a Valentine’s Day card like that.

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I think I have a lucrative career in hallmark ahead of me!

What else has happened…oh! I found some manky old dye in my bathroom cupboard and decided I’d put it in my hair because, well, I could and I was drunk on warm bath water. You ever get that? You’re in the bath and suddenly it’s like you’re just floating and everything seems like a good idea. Well who is going through a phase now, Mom? Huh!

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As for my ferrets, because they’re always the real stars of the show: Seb is on steroids and so getting jacked but also has been having a pretty good week. She’s had a couple of wobbly days but had some brilliant days where I had to do what I could to calm her down as she was grabbing my foot and clinging on for dear life!

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Little cutie pie ❤

Pandora also had a visit to the vet and was given the all clear. Unfortunately we suspect she licked the table because she was soon dragged back out and having another examination after clawing at her mouth. The silly little wolfen is fine now though.

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Yes, that’s one of my socks. I took it off and she stole it. Had to sneak it from her while she was cuddling it.

I hope you’ve all had a brilliant weekend and that you’re enjoying being in The Upside Down, that is, those of you who I am glaring at right now. Bah humbug!

Eheheheh

 

Up at Night

I found a post in my drafts with this same title and so I thought I’d steal it from myself. If good writers borrow but great writers steal then what happens when a writer steals from themselves? Do I get to enter Inception? Will Ellen Page be there? Not going to lie, that film went way over my head a number of times. Also, I’m on my phone, so I apologize for peculiar spelling mistakes. My phone can’t spell. Look at this: upapotatoes. That’s supposed to be upstairs. It’s like my phone is trying to be cockney and failing terribly. Gotta go up the apple and upapotatoes!

Anyway, I’m pretty sure when I first wrote the title Up at Night I was actually awake late at night, right now I’m preparing myself for it.

Some days just come about where too much information tries to get in my head on top of too much upset. I’m not going to pretend I stay up pondering it all and the meaning of life, I spend my time trying to distract myself until I’m too tired and fall asleep. I used to watch horror films for this purpose. The scarier the better. Not because I’m super rough and tough but I felt like if something else was happening to make me feel dread then eventually I’d just knock out asleep focusing on that instead. I mean, really that’s hindsight, and something I’ve just made up to try and explain it. I don’t think I can.

There are so many things we can’t explain.

No idea where I was going with that thought but it looks like I was about to try and get deep and meaningful. Now, however, I’m up at night.

Eeehhh, eeehhh, looka that! Things always work out right when you make them.

I really want a good horror film to watch. I’m having a sleepover with my ferret (Seb) so it can’t be too scary and we both hate gore. She wants zombies but I think they’re so overrated but I love her a lot so may need to compromise. You know, I was going to say I’m writing this because I’m lonely, but I don’t think I am. I like talking to myself. Or maybe this song sums it up.

Not in love with that tosser over the road though. He can do one.

That’s actually one of my all time favourite ever ever cherry on top songs.

Right me and Seb are deciding to watch The Woman in Black because both the film and Daniel Radcliffe (or Danele rut as my phone likes to call him) are brilliant. She’s been a big fan of him for some years so she decided we’d sack off the zombies.

Horror film fans, ladies and fellas? Any favourites?

Pointless blog post ends now.

Get to your bunkers!

Have you tried hot blackcurrant juice?

(it’s really good)

Hey everyone!

Gosh, I’m writing this late on that day of this month.

I’m starting to wonder why I write these, or at least why I began them – no, I know why I did that, to try and get some order involved with my writing, a routine and all that. Honestly, it’s a struggle keeping up with them when I don’t have much to talk about. Then again, I always think or write that and continue to ramble for two more pages.

They say we should kill our darlings, but who do you kill when it’s autobiographic or a blog? Do you just hack off paragraphs and sentences to limit the word count or to get rid of what a reader won’t be interested in? How do we decide that though? What interests Bob might not interest Sally, and vice versa ergo etc. I just wanted to write ergo.

What are you all interested in?

I’m guessing you all like writing or photography or both, and cooking. Thanks, by the way, Ward, for making me hungry every time you post. It was hard enough scrolling through the other blogs and now you’re doing it too! I’d get in on this food posting but I honestly can’t cook good food. I’ve tried to on a number of occasions but hey ho it’s a life of pot noodles for me!

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But what else interests you? Victorian post mortem photography? Local urban legends? Ghost shows where the ghosts always seem to scratch people? Liquorice?

I’ve been trying to think about what I like lately, actually like. I know a while ago I thought about this and my conclusion was that I like outdoor taps. I don’t know what it is about them and I’m not sure if I’ve already written this because I tend to think about something, think I might mention that, and then forget. Anyway, outdoor taps are just really cool, okay? Maybe it’s because they remind me of the beach where you’d find them to wash all the sand off from your feet. Maybe it’s just to twinkle of their nozzle! Is it called a nozzle? That thing, oh wait, ha, it’s called a tap isn’t it!

I wonder if that says more about me than the usual list. Hi, I like books (I think, although I don’t read as often as I should), video games (I haven’t completed anything in a long time), writing (I hate writing), music (I only know a few musicians and songs and I listen to them on repeat), and animals (what? I really do like animals). I guess I just don’t know what I really like anymore. I know depression can strip you from yourself like some weird version of Pyramid Head, so maybe it’s just that.

I did find one of my favourite t-shirts the other day, which probably started the above thought process.

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I’m glad there isn’t a torturer around with all this tongue sticking out…or is there? *glances around suspiciously*

Oh, I really, really like Alien. Xenomorphs are incredible. I mean I think I like the Alien films, it’s been ages.

The above photos were last year and I’m still alive so I think xenos are just misunderstood.

What if I don’t like them anymore? Why do our tastes just change like that? Is it a mix of everything, society, culture, what we’re being told is cool and we should like right now. Should we use the word cool? Is that okay? Am I a social outcast for using an outdated word? Screw it, it’s bodacious baby! No idea what that word means. What? At least I’m honest! Sometimes.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. So far I’ve decided I want to write a post on routines, a post on writing for an audience and a post on witchcraft. The latter made sense earlier I swear but now it’s been shuffled to the side by the other things.

I think I’m distracted. Or, I’m distracting myself. I said in my last black and white photo I’d explain why I was late posting and I think in a round-about way all that faff up there was me trying to get to it. I’ve written and deleted something four times now (it wasn’t really four, but you know how I feel about that number and I need luck).

I posted a while ago about my little ferret Seb, and how she was sick and then I got the all clear. Yesterday she collapsed, a number of times. I took her to an emergency vet and he suspects a heart condition. I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I’m irritated I was given the all clear, angry I don’t feel like I was taken seriously by the first vet, but most prevalent is the feeling of not being able to do anything.

I need to keep her rested and quiet, she was given an injection that lasts 48 hours and then it’s back to the vet in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good surgery, I’m just frustrated. And scared, really, really, scared.

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Seb with her favourite toy ❤

I’m sure there are many of you who understand the bond you develop with a pet. I know I had well wishes from you when I first mentioned Seb was sick. So I’m sure you’ll understand how difficult it is to be in this situation. Maybe one day I’ll explain why Seb is so important to me, I’m sure I will. For myself and for her, and for Kimble who I lost last year, if for anything. I’ve got to say (and this is not aimed at anyone here, but after seeing something posted on Instagram – not to me) I really don’t give a toss what someone thinks of me for being so upset about Seb being unwell. To me, she will never be just a ferret. She’s Seb. She’s my little hoarder of all things squeaky; my terror-tot thief of empty plastic bottles that I find stashed under couches, drawers, my bed; she’s the dook happy critter that ran wild around the house on her own, with Kimble, with me, springing up and down and leaping at my feet. She and Kimble were also the only things that kept me going for a long time.

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I’m sure I’ve posted this before, but sod it, I love this photo

I wasn’t intending to write all that just then. It felt necessary though. My ferrets are my darlings and they will live on and on in my life’s story. They’ll also live on in my fiction – you’re yet to meet the fanganhoardens.

I should cut this short here. For one I’m getting emotional when I don’t have a definitive answer, and two, Seb wants my attention.

I’m going to get back to posting prompts next week and honestly, I might start writing more posts like this but on thoughts when I have them. I often think of something I want to post but then “oh, it’s not Sunday” I don’t know why I got it in my head that it mattered!

Anyway, shush times, so, as always, I hope you’re all well!

Bye bye for now and dook dook from Seb!

P.S …

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Pandora doing what Pandora does best!

P.P.S … never mind, forgot what I was going to say.

Cup of tea not mandatory but strongly advised

It’s that day of the week again. The day of the week that shall not be named. The Voldemort day of the week, but only if Voldemort were a deadly day of the week. A day of dark magic and stuff. That would be neat. A day of the week of the bad kind of fizz fizz boom magic… and then a day of the week of the healing happy magic… and then a day of the week where I’m just sat there with a cup of tea wondering why the hell everyone else has magic days and I get Tetleys.

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Speaking of Harry Potter, have any of you done the Pottermore quizzes? Now I absolutely swear that I am not asking this because I’m lame and super excited over the fact I got a dragon for a patronus… Okay, obviously this is the real reason because…mother lizardy wing thinged freakin’ dragon!! Yes, I screenshotted this so that I could send it to all of my friends. Or, well, I would have if I could afford phone contracts for my ferrets.

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I’m also in Slytherin, which isn’t too much of a surprise. Supposedly Slytherin folk are more likely to get a dragon because we’re the glory hunting type. I’d say this isn’t true for me but I would absolutely be King Leonidas shouting THIS IS SPARTA if I was ever given the chance. ARROOOO ARROOOO ARROOO! Sorry to all those who have no idea what I’m talking about, but, even without all the pop culture stuff it’s not like I make much sense anyway. Seriously though, if you’ve done this I want to know which house you’re in and what your patronus is. It’s a need. I’m sorry.

I even got my boyfriend to take the quizzes under the threat that we are obviously not destined to be unless he does. Unfortunately he came out as Ravenclaw, but I guess no one’s perfect, right? For his patronus he got a bat, of which he was not impressed given my, you know, dragon, although personally I’d have been happy with a bat because they’re incredibly cute. As for the Ilvermorny house, we both got Pukwudgie, which I am most pleased with!

Psst, over here… https://www.pottermore.com/

Damnit I just pulled my little finger nail off. I’ve been growing the bloody things and then just because, you know, not thinking me is a twod I decided to pull it off.  Oh well, there are worse things that could happen in life, like you know, running out of sweets. Who puts six little sweets in a bag? I don’t care if these things are made for trick or treaters I demand a dozen at least damnit! My teeth won’t fall out on their own!

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What else can I bore you with… Oh! I’ve been enjoying Instagram more lately ever since I started watching live streams from some of the people I follow. I’ve been a big fan of both Robin Hobb and Emilie Autumn for a while and this weekend I got to see Robin Hobb signing books and I got to join other Emilie fans in browsing a neat catalogue with her. I swear that it was more interesting than I’m sure it sounds. If you don’t know Emilie Autumn I’m going to link a song. I’m torn on which to share but I think it will beeeeee… this one!

Her writing is beautiful and some of the lyrics to her songs I absolutely wish I had written. The line from Juliet “Meet me beneath my balcony and say, ‘no one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day’” is so charming. Some of her songs are so damn relatable that I feel if I were a better writer I would have written them. She’s very good at writing romantic songs, but she also has a sharp wit and her song Marry Me (one of the first I heard) very much makes me laugh. I recently saw that her book is available on Amazon and I became a bit Gollum over the whole thing with “I neeeedsss it…my precioussss” still yet to buy it, but will buy it!

Sod it, you need to hear Gentlemen aren’t nice. too.

I haven’t been posting too much on my own Instagram, which is a ruddy failing because I’m supposed to be using it as a platform to promote my writing. I suppose I do post quotes on there from my book and from some other stuff, but it can be hard to get a snippet that sounds alright out of context.

Got to say, for anyone who is doing close reading of their book, using something to create quotes is a good way to see if you have any words that you could lose to make a smoother running sentence. I mean, I should really practice what I preach but the few times I’ve done it it’s been beneficial, okay! There’ll be some trim sentences in my book that are all shiny and sparkly and those will be the ones I did close reading with! The rest will be rambles. I ramble in my blog I ramble in my writing, just be glad we don’t do the talky talk.

Today I thought about posting a picture I took for my boyfriend on there. I wanted to try and look…different, I guess, but, you know, how do I word this… it just isn’t me. I don’t wear flowers in my hair. I’ve always felt if I wear something pretty I’ll be laughed at for trying to look pretty. I end up feeling uncomfortable and comparing myself to other people. If I could get out of my head, that would be good! Here’s the photo. Look at me, I can flower! Christ… anyone remember the episodes of FRIENDS where Monica would refer to her virginity as her flower? Ahahaha.

 

 

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I will cringe looking at this photo in time. Just you watch. Like this —> <=S (I will be wearing a hat while I do it

In the end, I got changed and put on something I can derp around in and ate sweets. I want to do the dress up thing, I think. Maybe I don’t, I’m not sure. Maybe I would if I felt more confident? I just know that even when I’m going out fancy I can get really really flustered over trying to look presentable. I know I can feel insecure about how I look, but honestly I think it’s the confidence in other people I envy the most. When it comes to appearance anyway. I’ve never really been afraid to speak my mind or of being called weird, that just doesn’t bother me. But looks, and stuff I care about, like writing, that can make me less sure of myself. Whole point I started posting on here properly after all. I’m really rambling again now and Ivor is going to be asleep.

Here I am feeling less like I’m someone else.

 

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In my hand is one of the 6 sweets. >=(

 

I also post pictures of my ferrets because they lead a more interesting life than me.

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Hmm, just quickly, before I move one, I would like to say something I’m not sure I’ve said in another post and I’m too lazy to go back and check. I don’t judge other people in the way I judge myself. I’m not going to pretend like looks don’t matter romantically, you can feel an instant attraction in this way (you know I’ve just written this but I’m doubting it really is an attraction, maybe it’s just more of an okay they’re cute thing – not attraction – brain you stop this tango, right now!), but it isn’t what drives that unbelievable hot damn kind of attraction. That’s personality, baby! That’s the unknown, the sudden magnetic oh shit I’m gonna fall deep for this one type of thing. I probably come across as shallow or vain or annoying with my insecurities, and that’s okay, I know where I’m actually at.

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But when it comes to other people I won’t have it thought of me that I care and judge people on their looks, I simply won’t! *slams down fist* I haven’t learned to accept myself yet, but I don’t give a damn how someone else looks.

By the way, I understand that it is strange to still have such issues like I do when I post poems such as Chance. Like everyone else though, I’m two people in one body. We all have many sides to us, after all, don’t we?

Hmm, what else before we ferret. Oh! I suck at replying to comments! I’ve been meaning to say this for a while but there, phew, it’s out. After I post this I’m going to be replying to the comments from last week’s blog because I have no idea what’s happened. I do know that I don’t always get notifications and I end up going through my posts just to make sure no one has commented and I seem like a dickwad for not replying. I’m sorry if I haven’t replied to something you’ve said. I promise on this post I will reply as soon as I get it! Watch there be no comments…because this post is bloody long. I don’t expect people to read my blogs. I don’t even read my blogs.

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Unless I’m commenting on my own blog that is. I’m sure many of you have been a victim of my inability to reply… I know Ward has! 

 

 

 

Anyway, I’ll be doing my usual catch up of your hidey holes tomorrow. I’ve started going in through your actual blogs to catch up because I can’t trust WP reader anymore. There are too many I’m missing. I haven’t been too active this week though because of outside WP things so I’m looking forward to finding posts I’ve missed.

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Look what you’ve all done to me!

And Ferret news! Seb is right as rain! We had a scare that she did have insulinoma but after a second blood test (a fasting one) she has been given the clear and instead it’s believed she was just run down from her previous illness. It was embarrassing being on the phone to the vet and asking over and over to repeat that Seb didn’t have insulinoma until it felt right, but, it happens! Anyway, vuhuuuu! My Serb is okay!

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And my Pandora is a lazy bugger.

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And finally! This week I will be posting snippets from my book featuring the character Robin, I will also be posting the picture of him by Shio. All of you who saw Sophie will know how good she is so I’m looking forward to you seeing Robin!

I hope you all had a magnificent Sunday! Oh, no… oh no! I have unleashed the day of dark wizardry! Run ! Fleeeee! Ahahaha, okay I swear I’m stopping now. Sorry everyone. Sorry Ivor! xxxx

What? You found this on your own. I didn’t post this…

October, October

Hey everyone!

It’s October! Yay! I know it was October last weekend too, but…October! October is the new Sunday. How many times can I write October in this…no, stop that right now!

I started writing this with absolutely nothing in my head but song. It’s a beautiful song though so I will post a link to it so you, too, can lose yourself for a little while, in the best possible way. I promise you no white rabbits will lead you down any holes! Don’t trust the voles though…

This song is actually quite dear to me. It’s one of those songs that inspires, and whenever I listen to it I think of a scene (I’m yet to write, of course) in the sequel to Death’s Daughter. It’s an emotional scene where I – one second need to restart the song…ahem, that’s better – where I imagine Sophie going through an unbearably emotional experience but needing to triumph and carry on for the sake of others. That being said, how she chooses to go about it is fuelled from passion, and we don’t always make our best decisions in those moments, do we? I hope it will be a good scene because I feel emotional even thinking about it, you fall in love with your characters, you know? Without meaning to sound stereotypically writery, it just is what it is.

She also does an incredible version of one of my favourite songs – I see Fire – so here, have that too! It’s the gift of October! Ah haha, sorry. I couldn’t resist. That’s 8.

This week I ventured into the world of prompts and I’m really thankful for how those posts have been received. Both were off the cuff and I spent a long time staring at them not knowing whether or not to post them. If you’ve read my previous posts though you’ll know the point of this blog is a place for me to be fearless, so, meow. Deny was by far easier to post and write, although I was worried how the end would be met. Fashion (or as I refer to it, Fashionably OCD) was a lot harder.

I’ve mentioned some about mental illness here and there and some aspects of it are harder to write about than others. It all comes with its downfalls though. If I say that I am plagued with images of animal abuse and that if I see any article or hear any mention of it I can’t control my mind people might think I enjoy it or that I want it. I don’t. Or people might think I’m weak. I’m not.

My mind likes to take what I hate most and shove it in front of me and obsess over the images. I’m not sure if being a writer makes this worse because my imagination is quite vivid. I know that when it comes to relationships (I didn’t mention how my mental state affects those) it’s fucking tortuous. It’s the equivalent of sitting and watching your lover have sex with someone else on some shitty channel of reruns. Over and over. I’m not in to that. Where is the off button please.

“Thanks, brain.”

“You’re welcome, heart.”

I think it’s the difference between a quick thought and an obsession. If my brain latches on to something it’s like a…uh…a very latchy thing. Good writering, Arbie! On the flip side, if I say I have a really hard time doing simple tasks like locking a door or turning off an oven people might (and have) look at me like it’s no big deal. I wish it wasn’t, dickhead brain says otherwise.

“Ooooh gawwwddd we’re all going to die if you don’t check that door eight more times!”

“Okay…I did it.”

“Great! Now another eight!”

“Okay…”

“And now two more eights so it’s four sets of eight!”

“Are you serious?”

“>=)”

I stated writing a lot more and then I realized I don’t want this blog post to be about that. So, let’s move on!

I’ve been thinking about posting the blog elsewhere too, or at least posting on other platforms. One of my friends spoke to me about Medium a couple of weeks ago and I’ve just seen a blogger I recently started to follow make the move. The only problem with Medium is I’m not too sure how well fiction does and I don’t really write any articles. I’ve thought about writing some as I research for a new book, but even those probably wouldn’t interest many over there. I’ll most likely post them on here though, sorry! This is the place of no return!

I’ve also seen mention of posting on Tumblr but I’m not sure how well I’d do there. A lot of political talk goes on over there (from what I’ve heard) and I’m not too keen on getting involved in that. I like it here on wordpress (even if it hates me and is mean), I’m just not sure if I should be posting elsewhere if I’d like more readers because I’m serious about becoming an indie author. Or if I’d like to just post up the book on Amazon in a few weeks and say have at it to anyone who finds it. I’m just not the self-promoting type which makes the whole indie author stuff pretty hard. I put my mind to it being what I want though. Another point of no return!

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Forgot to post usual irrelevant picture and I needed a break in the text. This time with sneaky cat. 

 

Anyway, that’s week stuff. Last night I watched the film Little Evil and although the ending was pretty rubbish – sorry people of film – the rest of it was funny and made me dread the idea of having children. I think they will be devil spawn, I can’t imagine it any other way. Not that me and the devil are tight like that, but that I can’t see myself raising anything else. Future generations, I apologize for the coming of rapture. I will be sure to point at the father and say “He did it!”

Honestly though, parenting looks damn hard. I’m an aunt and I struggle after a few hours of “but why?”  and “tractor tractor tractor!” from my nephews (they’re at that stage and it’s adorable but oh god when will it end) so to actually be a parent really does seem hard. I’m sure all the good stuff must make up for it (it does right… right?!). But parents out there, I know there are a few of you, mad props to you!

This is getting pretty long so I’d normally wrap up here anyway, but I also think I will do anyway. I hit my head a bit yesterday and I’ve been a little dizzy and other such rubbish since. I’ve read through this a couple of times (sorry it’s worse than usual) and rearranged words that happened to find themselves in the wrong place but I’m sorry you see any of the topsy turvy variety. To be honest it’s usually like that anyway, I’m just better at getting it sorted before posting. Why am I still typing.

Ferrets!

Oh, on Friday I didn’t post any kind of flashback fiction type thing because my little girl took a turn. She had to get taken to the vet because she kept dazing out and falling over. She’s in for blood tests tomorrow and I’m hoping that everything comes back okay. She’s incredibly precious to me.

 

Little monster. ❤

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And Pandora posing!

 

I hope you’re all well! See you next ramble! X

P.S I’m behind on my post reading but tomorrow I’ll be sherkin around all your blogs!