The Fall of the House of [us]Her

The last of me was the first thing you noticed, between smiles that never reached the eyes and laughter that came at all the wrong moments, the end caught your attention before the beginning, and mine was caught on anything but

Where

Focus

Should

Lie

What about a girls downfall is considered so irresistible?
that tears need be wiped dry
and why must rage be quietened
for her to be
fixed

You thought my end was in the promise that next year would be the last
thing
you’d
notice
when you’d offer a kiss goodbye and I’d smile, give in return and then thank you for seeing me as
such a delightful
project

Such a worthy
Fixer up

And if you see me as a home I understand why you took the hammer to my heart
but excuse my confusion as this
Is
Where
I thought laid the hearth one day we would sit our children before
yet you fixed the cracks in the walls
only to leave all the windows open
for rain to fall inside
to stand and watch
as rot wrapped around these arms
where you’d promised to wind daisy chains
the white of their petals stained red
from the thorns of roses that restrained

before

You could step once more over my threshold
where if only you had noticed
that the first time a home is damaged
it may learn to stand again
it’s foundation hardened
however superficially

But the second time
it is left empty
it’s crumbling walls
and creaking floors
no longer irresistible

To an eye that saw what could be
rather than what already was

It will fall

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Forget the Stars

Are your memories the same as mine?

Do you remember me for who I once was?

I never thought it would take losing you to find myself again.

To remember I used to feel something other than this, something less; yet how can feeling nothing be so much more than at least feeling something, anything at all?

I said I wouldn’t shed a tear for you, and I have not, but for us I thought they would never stop – they were empty as they fell, as within time I found myself too to be.

As the sky is now, as it was when you sighed,

“They should shine for us tonight.”

And I replied, in bliss without,

“Forget the stars.”

And as I search for them, as you once did, I believe they forgot us too.

 

This is one of those things that you write as a teenager when you first experience heartache. At least, for me that’s what this is. I mean it’s pretty dramatic. I understand why I was feeling that way though, so reading it is almost like finding an old diary entry. Now, with my eternal wisdom after many years (I’m actually still quite young and probably even more annoying),  I’d probably respond to a break up a little less romantically. Maybe that’s because now we have Netflix? Anyway, I actually lost this for some time so I was happy to find it again. Even though it’s pretty embarrassing, as you know I’m trying to get over that stopping me from posting, so here: posted. Oh, as for what I would change? I don’t particularly like the line beginning with “To remember I used to feel…” it’s a little too riddle me this for the rest of the writing. I prefer it just being simple and to the point. I have no idea what I’d change it to though, this is a part of old me and she can keep it as it was originally written!