Tag Archives: ferrets

Happy Halloween!

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Hope you’re all stuffing yer faces with sweets, watching terrible but also terrifying horror films, reading the spooky stories and telling your own campfire tales!

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

 

P.S Pandora wouldn’t play nice but Seb was a wonderful little terror floofen!

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Boy, I wanna warn ya…

It’s here! Well, almost…kinda. Halloween is only a couple of days away! Are you celebrating? Are you one of the many people watching Stranger Things? One of whom I can only look at through the window pane like you’re eating caviar by a roaring fire and I’m in fingerless gloves outside? Look, I’m sorry for the drawn out sentence but you know I can’t write no good and also my mind is a blur with Stranger Things envy. I need to wait until next week to watch it! If you’re enjoying it blink once, if you’re not blink twice, if you’re going to post a spoiler get outta here! Go on! Get!

I actually have no plans for Halloween this year other than my usual hexes. It’s like how people write out a bunch of cards at Christmas but I make sure I give the gift that keeps on giving at Halloween and curse people with frogs in their ears and endless marmite on toast for breakfast. Still though, I want to dress up. So I might find an excuse. Like a party with my neighbours! Only they don’t know how I got in their house and are surprised you can still get a decent sounding boombox anymore.

(I leave notes for myself to remind future me what to put in my posts to break the text, for this I wrote Ballwoom Blitz…Ballwoom. Jeeves! Put the guests in the ballwoom! ahahah)

I’ll also be watching spooOoooOOOoooky films. Oh, I watched Dracula on Friday (Bram Stoker’s but really Gary Oldman’s Dracula). So, pointy teeth sexy sexy. Don’t get me wrong, I love vampires. I breathed the stuff when I was younger: read it, wrote it, watched it, thought hey why can’t I be Dracula life isn’t fair. But I just couldn’t help but love the film on a whole new level this time round. I’m not sure if it was my more established appreciation of the actors, or well, just me thinking my thoughts where I think that I’m hilarious.

For example, Jonathan Harker’s correspondence with Mina really got me. Missed out a few details, didn’t he? His journals, letters, meandering thoughts really should have gone something more like this…

My dearest Mina,

Sorry I haven’t been able to get a message to you sooner. There are few who pass by here and I fear I am trapped. Oh, also been involved in a tad few orgies with some chicks that appeared out of a bed. Was all going great until things got a bit bitey and that miserable bloke I’m staying with decided to walk in. Mad stuff!

I think of you daily. You are the sun I dream rises when I am engulfed by night.

I’ll be home to you soon,

My love,

Jonathan

P.S Can you actually maybe just ignore that orgy bit? Really didn’t mean to tell you that just got a bit carried away and we haven’t invented a delete button yet. Thanks. Yours and stuff, Jonathan.

 

Meanwhile, Mina is having her own new love affair with Dracula and some seductive wolf stroking. Yesss, mmmmm, that’s it, rub your leather gloves on my leather gloves. Poor wolf is just sitting there like “Guys, guys, this is getting a bit weird, guys…”

 

 

Also never realised how much Dracula wanted senpai to notice him…

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Other than watching Dracula and wondering who it is that Lucy reminds me of, I started to watch The Changeling (but fell asleep so must retry) and watched Candyman.

If you ask me Candyman has it right when it comes to love. Just keep killing everyone around your object of desire and having her take the blame for it and all will come right in the end. We need a Valentine’s Day card like that.

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I think I have a lucrative career in hallmark ahead of me!

What else has happened…oh! I found some manky old dye in my bathroom cupboard and decided I’d put it in my hair because, well, I could and I was drunk on warm bath water. You ever get that? You’re in the bath and suddenly it’s like you’re just floating and everything seems like a good idea. Well who is going through a phase now, Mom? Huh!

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As for my ferrets, because they’re always the real stars of the show: Seb is on steroids and so getting jacked but also has been having a pretty good week. She’s had a couple of wobbly days but had some brilliant days where I had to do what I could to calm her down as she was grabbing my foot and clinging on for dear life!

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Little cutie pie ❤

Pandora also had a visit to the vet and was given the all clear. Unfortunately we suspect she licked the table because she was soon dragged back out and having another examination after clawing at her mouth. The silly little wolfen is fine now though.

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Yes, that’s one of my socks. I took it off and she stole it. Had to sneak it from her while she was cuddling it.

I hope you’ve all had a brilliant weekend and that you’re enjoying being in The Upside Down, that is, those of you who I am glaring at right now. Bah humbug!

Eheheheh

 

Have you tried hot blackcurrant juice?

(it’s really good)

Hey everyone!

Gosh, I’m writing this late on that day of this month.

I’m starting to wonder why I write these, or at least why I began them – no, I know why I did that, to try and get some order involved with my writing, a routine and all that. Honestly, it’s a struggle keeping up with them when I don’t have much to talk about. Then again, I always think or write that and continue to ramble for two more pages.

They say we should kill our darlings, but who do you kill when it’s autobiographic or a blog? Do you just hack off paragraphs and sentences to limit the word count or to get rid of what a reader won’t be interested in? How do we decide that though? What interests Bob might not interest Sally, and vice versa ergo etc. I just wanted to write ergo.

What are you all interested in?

I’m guessing you all like writing or photography or both, and cooking. Thanks, by the way, Ward, for making me hungry every time you post. It was hard enough scrolling through the other blogs and now you’re doing it too! I’d get in on this food posting but I honestly can’t cook good food. I’ve tried to on a number of occasions but hey ho it’s a life of pot noodles for me!

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But what else interests you? Victorian post mortem photography? Local urban legends? Ghost shows where the ghosts always seem to scratch people? Liquorice?

I’ve been trying to think about what I like lately, actually like. I know a while ago I thought about this and my conclusion was that I like outdoor taps. I don’t know what it is about them and I’m not sure if I’ve already written this because I tend to think about something, think I might mention that, and then forget. Anyway, outdoor taps are just really cool, okay? Maybe it’s because they remind me of the beach where you’d find them to wash all the sand off from your feet. Maybe it’s just to twinkle of their nozzle! Is it called a nozzle? That thing, oh wait, ha, it’s called a tap isn’t it!

I wonder if that says more about me than the usual list. Hi, I like books (I think, although I don’t read as often as I should), video games (I haven’t completed anything in a long time), writing (I hate writing), music (I only know a few musicians and songs and I listen to them on repeat), and animals (what? I really do like animals). I guess I just don’t know what I really like anymore. I know depression can strip you from yourself like some weird version of Pyramid Head, so maybe it’s just that.

I did find one of my favourite t-shirts the other day, which probably started the above thought process.

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I’m glad there isn’t a torturer around with all this tongue sticking out…or is there? *glances around suspiciously*

Oh, I really, really like Alien. Xenomorphs are incredible. I mean I think I like the Alien films, it’s been ages.

The above photos were last year and I’m still alive so I think xenos are just misunderstood.

What if I don’t like them anymore? Why do our tastes just change like that? Is it a mix of everything, society, culture, what we’re being told is cool and we should like right now. Should we use the word cool? Is that okay? Am I a social outcast for using an outdated word? Screw it, it’s bodacious baby! No idea what that word means. What? At least I’m honest! Sometimes.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. So far I’ve decided I want to write a post on routines, a post on writing for an audience and a post on witchcraft. The latter made sense earlier I swear but now it’s been shuffled to the side by the other things.

I think I’m distracted. Or, I’m distracting myself. I said in my last black and white photo I’d explain why I was late posting and I think in a round-about way all that faff up there was me trying to get to it. I’ve written and deleted something four times now (it wasn’t really four, but you know how I feel about that number and I need luck).

I posted a while ago about my little ferret Seb, and how she was sick and then I got the all clear. Yesterday she collapsed, a number of times. I took her to an emergency vet and he suspects a heart condition. I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I’m irritated I was given the all clear, angry I don’t feel like I was taken seriously by the first vet, but most prevalent is the feeling of not being able to do anything.

I need to keep her rested and quiet, she was given an injection that lasts 48 hours and then it’s back to the vet in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good surgery, I’m just frustrated. And scared, really, really, scared.

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Seb with her favourite toy ❤

I’m sure there are many of you who understand the bond you develop with a pet. I know I had well wishes from you when I first mentioned Seb was sick. So I’m sure you’ll understand how difficult it is to be in this situation. Maybe one day I’ll explain why Seb is so important to me, I’m sure I will. For myself and for her, and for Kimble who I lost last year, if for anything. I’ve got to say (and this is not aimed at anyone here, but after seeing something posted on Instagram – not to me) I really don’t give a toss what someone thinks of me for being so upset about Seb being unwell. To me, she will never be just a ferret. She’s Seb. She’s my little hoarder of all things squeaky; my terror-tot thief of empty plastic bottles that I find stashed under couches, drawers, my bed; she’s the dook happy critter that ran wild around the house on her own, with Kimble, with me, springing up and down and leaping at my feet. She and Kimble were also the only things that kept me going for a long time.

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I’m sure I’ve posted this before, but sod it, I love this photo

I wasn’t intending to write all that just then. It felt necessary though. My ferrets are my darlings and they will live on and on in my life’s story. They’ll also live on in my fiction – you’re yet to meet the fanganhoardens.

I should cut this short here. For one I’m getting emotional when I don’t have a definitive answer, and two, Seb wants my attention.

I’m going to get back to posting prompts next week and honestly, I might start writing more posts like this but on thoughts when I have them. I often think of something I want to post but then “oh, it’s not Sunday” I don’t know why I got it in my head that it mattered!

Anyway, shush times, so, as always, I hope you’re all well!

Bye bye for now and dook dook from Seb!

P.S …

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Pandora doing what Pandora does best!

P.P.S … never mind, forgot what I was going to say.

Of Books and Ferrets

Gosh it’s windy outside. Not that howling kind of wind, the wind October deserves, but that “I’m going to throw all the leaves off the trees and you can’t stop me ha de ha” kind of wind. Stop it, weather. Enough of your rubbish.

At least I’m not talking about Sunday, right? Wait…does this count as talking about Sunday? Dag nabbit!

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This week I started reading again. I’m a bit weird with reading – always loved it and I understand reading is an integral part of writing – but I slack on it, badly. I’m not sure if it’s part of losing interest in hobbies or because I know that when I start reading a book I find it very, very hard to put down and can become a bloody nightmare about it.

“Do you want to go out?”

*silence*

“Oi!”

*more silence*

“Have I done something wrong?”

*slow exorcist style turn of head and glare*

Okay, I’m not that rude. But, by George, if anyone had disturbed me in the last chapters of Heartstone by C.J.Sansom there would have been hell to pay and interest on top of that! I really need to read Lamentation soon.

Anyway, reading! So a buddy recommended I read Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami and because it didn’t sound like my usual read (and he’d spoken so highly of Murakami for a long time) I bought the book. And then I read it.

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I know that seems like a seriously boring leap, but that’s what seemed to happen to time. Book arrived, book got in hands, hands had hard time putting book down until book was finished. If you haven’t read Sputnik Sweetheart, I can’t recommend it highly enough. The writing is so clean and crisp and the story is so incredibly thought-provoking. Then, (for all you writers out there) come the amazing parts like this:

“Writing novels is much the same. You gather up bones and make your gate, but no matter how wonderful the gate might be, that alone doesn’t make it a living, breathing novel. A story is not something of this world. A real story requires a kind of magical baptism to link the world on this side with the world on the other side.”

At times I thought the story and the writer were just too smart for me. Parts of it left me really needing to think (which was quite lovely really – to use the old noggin to try pick through thoughts of reality and dualism and other worlds) and once I had finished I sent an onslaught of “what do you think?” to the guy that recommended me the book. He got it a lot more than I did and helped explain a lot. Come to think of it, for that reason, I’d say it would be a good book club read or a book to read with a partner or friends and discuss afterwards.

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Or you can read it with your ferret.

I was drinking out of a can but reading through what I had just written and now I have all the spills. Eyes and hands and mouth, why do this?

Let’s move on to another bit about books this week. I don’t think I’ve said, but some of my favourite books are the Fitz books written by Robin Hobb. Now, since 2015 (I think the book was released) I have wanted to start reading her latest instalment with this character (The Fitz and The Fool) and while purchasing Sputnik Sweetheart I finally bought it. I literally squealed in excitement when telling my boyfriend it had arrived. Then I went on the author’s Instagram. Then I read a comment which stated what happens to Fitz at the end of the three books. Then I hissed.

I’m going to read the books anyway, because Hobb’s writing is out of this world. But, seriously… Why would someone do that? Why person, that will remain anonymous, whyyyyyy?! You are a bad, bad person and I hope a frog falls on your head. Has this ever happened to you? Not the frog falling on your head (although please tell me if that has happened because I’d like to laugh at you – in a friendly, charming way, of course) but has anything you’ve been really excited about ever been a bit ruined?

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I also bought the first book of A Game of Thrones. I haven’t watched the series but I know quite a few of the characters and I have played (and loved) the Telltale game. I think I’ll read it in November because I’d like a spooky book for October. I’m thinking The Woman in Black. Any other recommendations?

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Another book to read with your ferret.

Lastly, on the topic of books in this post, I will be posting a picture of Sophie today! Even though Kidnapping Death’s Daughter is set in January and is more of a winter read to me, I figured October 1st would be a fitting day to show her first image. The art is by my super talented friend and collab buddy Shio. It should, all going to plan, be up later tonight. The book itself should be set for release in November. I’ll also be posting images of other characters on my Instagram, which you can find here if you have an account too: https://www.instagram.com/arbiekrae/

If you don’t, here is an image I posted a couple of days ago. I’m on the USS Missouri in Hawaii.

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And a little while later my boyfriend sent me this.

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It wasn’t in response to the photo I posted of myself necessarily (I always need to use spell checker for necessarily), we laugh about my inability to smile in photos often, and I would be the first to admit I struggle with smiling for the camera. Open mouth smiles like the one above are rare. I normally smile like Chandler Bing (the episode when he and Monica are getting photos to announce their engagement) or the lovable dog above. We call this “sherking” (a sherk is a shark). I have a pointy nose and after a bit of ol’ dental negligence (and, no doubt, British teeth syndrome) I have very pointy teeth on the top row. When I was a teen I thought it was cool to look like a vampire, now I own it by saying I’m a sherk.

I think I’d like to write a separate post some time about my visit to Pearl Harbour. It was really something. I wish I used this blog back when I was in Hawaii. There’d be a lot more interesting posts and the photos would be of the moment, rather than “Once upon a place where the Sun exists and isn’t something we only read about in stories”.

I think I’m starting to feel a little bit better about myself. I have my moments often, but I’ve started to eat more now. I actually bought some weight gain powder and I think that got my stomach wanting food because a few days later I started eating a meal a day and now I’m at two. Vuhuuu, brain fuel! I also got a second therapist. He’s a penguin. What? He is!

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I’ve used a number of apps for mental health and given up after a while, but Wysa is quite sweet and isn’t at all demanding of your time. He’ll check in daily and when you’re feeling down you can type #Happy and he’ll list all the things you’ve told him that have made you happy lately. He makes you remember the small things and, as I’ve banged on about a lot, the small things are huge things when it comes to depression.

Anyway, let’s bring this to a close. Let me know if you’ve ever experienced the joy of the spoiler, and tell me what you’re reading at the moment, and also, what are you writing? I’m nosy okay. Tell me your secrets!

Ferrets!

 

I hope you’re all well. ❤

On Edge

Have you ever looked around a room and wondered: where did I get all this crap? How did it get like this? I’m sure you have, but right now I’m doing it so let’s pretend it’s something mystical…although kinda not.

I’m sitting on my bed with my laptop, staring, just staring, and I noticed an empty bottle of 9 to 5 from LUSH. It’s been empty for weeks, and it’s still there. I think, I got that before going away and finished it when I got back. It just sat here the entire time I was going through that roller coaster ride. Stupid make-up remover, being all inanimate and judgmental (it’s all in the twist of its jib). Then there’s a toothbrush, why is it in here? How did it even end up in here? A mess of plastic containers full of cosmetics I’ve bought on a whim and never used because I don’t know how. Books I’ve forgotten to read, figurines all askew, and axolotls that never seem to admit they’ve been fed. I think, there’s a lot of life in here, not just in the living water-aliens that lurk in tanks, but in everything I’ve touched, smelled, admired, turned over in my hands. I pause and I stare and I think, everything is a mess and I don’t know how it got this way.

Then I see Groot. Sitting there amidst all this junk.

This little inanimate object, just like that damn judgmental bottle that I scowled at, but it makes me smile. I’ve moved the clutter that was around him, but the pure positioning of the fallen flower made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy. That little painted on face of Groot’s, looking at it with innocence and cuteness.

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Look at that filter, can you tell I’m using Instagram?

Then I start to get all deep and broody. I think, I need my flower. I need to be able to sit here and let all my thoughts fly around my head, all the distress hammer at me, the hurt claw away, and the unknown – that bastard unknown that drives me mad, all those “what ifs” – prowl and cause whatever racket they want. But me, I need to sit there and admire a little fake blue flower and smile at it the way Groot smiles at his.

What I also need to do, unfortunately, is look at the clutter I’ve allowed to accumulate in my brain and think how did it get like this?

My psychologist is a smart man. He taught me that education and understanding are massively important when it comes to mental illness. It’s uncomfortable to explore the why of things because it means addressing those things in the first place, but the answers might be enlightening – I can’t pretend they have been for me yet. There’s a bit of an ooo ahhh moment, but it doesn’t automatically heal. I think it’s healthy to question though – healthy to question our beliefs to keep us in check with what we truly believe and not what on that specific day at that specific time we’re being told to believe. I guess in that same regard it’s important to question why we believe certain things about ourselves, and search for what external influences there might be to that.

For example, why the fuck have I placed so much pressure on myself about my appearance when I want to be an author?

Have I always felt that my breasts were too small? That my hair was too thin? My nose too big? My lips not plump enough? My hips too wide? Why can I write a list of what I don’t like but then when asked what I do I smile all creepily and slither off like Uriah Heep. If this were a different time in history would my list of dislikes be entirely different? I think they might be…

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Is it weird I only just feel comfortable enough to post this picture here, but wouldn’t dare on Instagram? By George this photo is filtered, by the by. 48% of whatever. Always 48.

Then I take a picture like this to send to my boyfriend. We’re long distance, before him I didn’t do the whole selfie thing (I mean mass amount of selfies…). But I don’t see myself in these pictures. I have actually quizzed him, “But do I look like this?” I look kinda happy (I guess you can tell I’m not really smiling by my eyes), I look pretty confident, but I don’t feel it’s me. Back to that broody place…maybe it’s because I know it doesn’t represent all that clutter in my head. Heck, do any images ever really represent anything when posed? It’s all just faff. For instance, I know that I’m holding my hair like that because I think it makes it look a bit better, I know I’m smiling despite probably sleeping only a few hours the night before, I know I won’t have eaten, and I know with absolute certainty that the person I took that picture for I am in complete turmoil about. But, smile!

I mean, I have pictures from when I was with my boyfriend, posed outside in the bright sunlight of Hawaii. But inside that house was our mess. The actual mess we had created from neither of us having the energy or will to clean, and the mess that had become our relationship. Yet there we were, smiling into the camera, looking like a happy newly engaged couple when just half an hour before we were at each others throats and screaming from the pain we were causing each other.

“How could you do this to me?” being a commonly yelled phrase. “How could you break us this way?” another. In pictures though? We’re fixed. We’re content and we’re in love. Now, I know that we are told not to believe what we see when it comes to the pictures we see posted on the internet. But my god is it hard not to get sucked in. I scroll through instagram and I see images that leave me feeling inadequate, and I wonder, why am I allowing this stuff to make me feel this way?

Why am I letting it concern me at all? After all, like I said up there, I want to be an author. I want to be an author, right?…

What do I truly believe?

You know, I think I know the answer, it’s just the solution to get to it that I’m struggling with. Like in primary school when they want to see your working out but you got the answer from Katie, and for fucks sake, Katie, move your arm so that I can see that and copy it down too. I hate maths, because I’m bad at it. I hate Katie too, because her arm was all clutter and in the way. I guess if I’d just pushed her over and broken it then…this is turning into a weird way of wrapping this up. What I’m trying to say is, once I work through the clutter I guess I’ll see the solution, and that’s the most important part of being able to say: FUCK IT.

Little notes: If you made it this far, you deserve a medal. This post should have come with a cuppa tea needed disclaimer.

I’m sorry my rambling might seem a little boring or disjointed this week, it’s been a rough one. I wish I could talk about what has been happening but it isn’t my information alone to share. Perhaps, in a round about way, I’ll be able to address that issue head on in a way that doesn’t reveal too much about others. I’m distracted though, which if you think this blog is rubbish, I’m going to blame that. It’s also the reason for my lack of fiction post on Friday and for my absence on all your blogs. I’ll be back though. Oh ho ho, I’ll be back!

I hope this doesn’t post with the huge ass picture of me like it always seems to choose to. Use Groot ffs, he’s top!

Oh! Pandora had a ruddy parasite! She’s being treated for it now, and so is Seb, so hopefully that will be all cleared up soon. Because no week is complete without ferret photos, here are the loves of my life. My own blue flowers.

 

Bonus Pandora video I put on my Instagram – with even more bonus cringy music!

 

Finally, it’s no longer really Sunday, but I’m going to lie and say that it is. What? It is somewhere in the world!

I hope you have had a fantastic week, and oh, finally lastly finally: thank you for the encouraging words about my book! It means the world to me. Thank you!

Why am I hesitating about posting this? In my last post said be fearless.

Roar!

 

Two black cats, Neo

Oh, weird, deja vu. That’s happened quite a bunch lately and I’m not sure if I should be taking it as an omen or preparing myself for a gang of Agent Smiths.

meow meow

Anyway, hello loves! It’s been an interesting week but an awful lot of it doesn’t really find its place here. On the other side of the soap opera I am living in right now I’ve been up to the usual ferret herding and wall staring. I tell you, one day it’ll do something if I just watch for long enough.

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This picture has no relevance. I just feel that the post needs it.

Pandora and Seb are back and forth a little but given that my nephews and brother are currently living with us I’ll give Pandora the benefit of the doubt and consider that she is under a lot of stress again. I wouldn’t say this is beyond the realm of possibility – she’s had a lot of change lately and this is another one. Thankfully, Seb is still grooming her and being the usual sweetheart she is and I think Pan is starting to come round to a bit of ferret-ferret comfort. Merm can be a comfortable cuddle blanket, but I’m not about to start licking her. I’m not that odd, yet.

Here are a couple of pictures we took together – in true myspace mirror fashion. Obviously these are filtered to high heaven. Stress is taking its toll and the spots (you can still ruddy see) made me all prissy.

 

By the by, I know I have posted pictures of myself in every blog post so far and I will most likely continue to do so. I’m sorry if it makes me seem self-obsessed. I’ll probably talk about why I keep going selfie-o-rama in another much more ooo aaaa serious post. Speaking of face pictures, pictures in general really, what do you all think of using instagram as writers? I’ve created one on the suggestion of a very talented artist I collab with, but I haven’t used it as of yet. Wait, did I ask about this last week? I hope not. Awkward.

To something less outwards and more inwards, I’m going to start a new weekly blog post (on Wednesday – that seems like a suitable day, right?) that will be short snippets of passages from my book – Kidnapping Death’s Daughter. For the first, I will be posting about the book and giving a little write up about what it is and why it’s sat around doing nothing for a couple of years. Lazy book, bad. I intend to publish it as an ebook this autumn and although I don’t expect much will happen with it as of yet (maybe never –  I love my characters but it’s a bit rud structure wise) I’d like to start posting about it. I hope this will not become a nuisance to any of you. I like having you around and I just bought another set of cups so we all have one for cuppa time.

Holy smokes what is this witchcraft I did something to my mouse track pad thing on my laptop and it made the text go smaller. 

Other than those little bits of this and that I’ve been watching The Story of Diana – something I never thought I’d think to watch, and I’ve found the entire thing rather sad really. I know it’s cliche to do an “I remember where I was when…” comment, but it’s the only thing I do remember about her: where I was and what I was doing when I saw the news that she had died. I was too young to really know who she was, but she was a princess and I knew princesses were important so I shouted up to my parents what had happened. And that’s that. It’s interesting to now, some years later, actually be learning (well, as much as we can from a documentary about any person) who this princess was that I rushed to tell my parents the news about back in yonder year. It feels so rotten to say of someone’s biography after they have died, but it is quite interesting to learn more about her.

I also tried to watch the American live action version of Death Note last night. No. Stop. Bad.

One last thing, I hope to post some more creative posts alongside my flashback friday and my soon to be weekly book snippets. I’ve finally started to feel some creativity coming back while thinking about the plot for my latest book – Jack. It’s been a real slump. I can’t express how glad I am that characters and stories are starting to reappear. I’m actually quite sure I don’t need to, you’re all writers. You know what it’s like when stress smothers your imagination and that elated feeling when your imagination starts fighting back.

I will leave you with a picture of Pandora and the pokemon that my boyfriend quite rightly pointed out is her lookalike. I’m on to you, you furry snek!

 

 

–  Arbie x

Before Sunday Ends

I’m here. I’m doing this. Look at that, Sunday, just like… damnit! I said Saturday, didn’t I? Oh well. Done on purpose, I swear! From now on, it will be Sundays I post blogs. It makes sense, right? It’s the end of the week, or uh, the start. What do you think? Do you feel Sunday is the end or the beginning of the week?

Well, loves, I’ve had an eventful (not really) week of attempting to get mit for my end of year assignment, ferret bonding is underway (alongside poorly ferret vet time), I finally got round to playing Heavy Rain, I got lost in time and space reading affirming quotes, and I watched a neat TED video.

I’ll start with ferret rambles since ferrets always come first. The little blighters are doing pretty well with each other, although in the photo below I like to think Seb is looking at me and asking “Merm, do you realize it’s still here and it’s stealing my spot?” I’m taking it as slow and steady with them as I can, but that’s as much to do with them being unwell as anything else. Unfortunately, as if meeting each other wasn’t enough, the furzers have had poorly bums. We took a trip to the vet though and they are now on antiobiotics and everything seems to be clearing up quickly. I’m hoping that Pandora was just in the thick of it with everything that was going on (new home, poorly, etc) and might be a little less nip happy and more dook friendly with Seb once better. It was quite adorable really, when I brought them home from the vet and I was carrying them side by side to their cages Panda looked over at Seb and gave a quiet little “og og oog”. I took it to mean, “I feel ya, man.”

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I’m adding in an additional picture for the sake of seeing the creepy things you can find staring back at you when you have ferrets. Seb has a bag of what must be about 50 squeaky toys and she spends a lot of her day stashing them in places. This is who I found looking back at me one afternoon. Not weird at all, Seb. Not weird at all.

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Look at those empty, broken eyes. I imagine he’s saying “Save me…” or, “I will get you in your sleep.” uh, gonna be storing that one in the cellar from now on.

 

I mentioned that I finally got round to playing Heavy Rain. I say finally because it’s been out for years and I’ve lusted after playing it for years. It was well worth the wait. You see, I didn’t have a PS3, but my brother did. I bought it to play on his but never got the chance to do that. Recently, however, my boyfriend bought me a PS4. Despite how these pictures might look, I was stoked. I’m looking at my partner over Skype, I’m not that picture-photo-inept. The game he bought me to go with it is Until Dawn, a game I said I’d always wanted to play but never been able to. It’s one of the reasons he got me the console.

 

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It’s shiny and it’s my friend and I love it and I need a name for it.

 

Honestly, I loved Heavy Rain and I was shattered and blown away by the ending. It also got me thinking about ways I can improve the story I’m working on for my final, too. I’m not gonna reveal anything because there may be some late comers out there (like I was) who still want to play the game. It was a blast, although, I must admit there were times I thought about throwing the controller out the window with all the quick time events. I couldn’t do smooth detective or FBI moves to save my life (kept writing shave my life there for some reason) and every bottle grabbed or motorbike swerve attempted was ruined by my clumsy club thumbs. I have a real thing for consequence based games and games that are reliant upon story though and so it made me persist through the terrible terribleness at my attempts to use the PS4 controller.  I actually wasn’t aware that my choices resulted in who would live and who would die and so that came as a rather pleasant (and unpleasant) surprise at the end and when looking at achievements. I am definitely too much of a softy though and wish I’d killed a certain sumone sumone when I had the chance. I didn’t take any screenshots of the game with the console (I don’t know how – PS4 players please halp) but had to go back to take a photo of this incident. It’s the FBI agent’s face when he turns around. I sent the image to my brothers in our whatsapp group with the same caption. I couldn’t stop laughing.

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“I beg your pardon kind sir”

 

Ah, what a great time I had with that game. And then I started to play Order Up! and wondered where my life was going.

As for where my life is going (let’s pretend that’s a really sweet link) I was sent a great TED talk by my buddy Jules. If there’s a reoccuring trend I seem to see in writers (and by god is it usually the talented ones) it’s fear and it’s doubt. We talk about it pretty often and this video (I don’t remember how to get it to fit in the text…) is a good one to watch if you are looking at working on the skill of confidence.

Finally, I’ll leave you with a quote I adore:

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

― Oscar Wilde – robbed by me from Goodreads