Chance

Today I’m doing this thing where I love who I am

because the other side of the coin is hating that same self

that wouldn’t pay to become something

“nice to look at when you come home”

 

You see I’m sick of writing poems about how you broke me

So here’s me showing you how I put myself back together

 

I took the same mirror I’ve been looking into

watching my self-esteem drown

said Bloody Mary three times

and stared into the eyes of a woman I’ve been taught to fear

 

Her eyes were dark blue

and when she looked back at me

I felt something ignite

 

I smashed the glass for a chance at seven years bad luck

so that when fate might arrive at my door

my lips would turn up

and when she said you’ve been waiting for me

I’d laugh, say yes, and lay down the conditions of a new contract

 

One where how I look is gold

meaning it’s worthless

meaning in the end it equates to nothing

but one thing

that my eyes will be that of a childhood ghost

staring back at any man that sees me as prey

 

My body is fire

the tears I cried weren’t enough to put me out

The shame you made me feel just for existing in this form

wasn’t enough to turn me to ash

 

When I dance I move like the flames that entranced you on a dark night

and I am the light that beckoned you forward

My heart still burns with the same heat

despite the cold you let in when I opened the door

and bade you enter

 

This is not the story of me rising

like the phoenix

on a new day

This is the tale

of a woman

that never let herself die

 

 

Hey everyone!

I’m using the word chance as a word prompt today. It’s one that I gave a friend to try and then we thought it would be fun for me to try too! This is what I came up with and I hope you like it.

Thanks for reading!

 

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Forget the Stars

Are your memories the same as mine?

Do you remember me for who I once was?

I never thought it would take losing you to find myself again.

To remember I used to feel something other than this, something less; yet how can feeling nothing be so much more than at least feeling something, anything at all?

I said I wouldn’t shed a tear for you, and I have not, but for us I thought they would never stop – they were empty as they fell, as within time I found myself too to be.

As the sky is now, as it was when you sighed,

“They should shine for us tonight.”

And I replied, in bliss without,

“Forget the stars.”

And as I search for them, as you once did, I believe they forgot us too.

 

This is one of those things that you write as a teenager when you first experience heartache. At least, for me that’s what this is. I mean it’s pretty dramatic. I understand why I was feeling that way though, so reading it is almost like finding an old diary entry. Now, with my eternal wisdom after many years (I’m actually still quite young and probably even more annoying),  I’d probably respond to a break up a little less romantically. Maybe that’s because now we have Netflix? Anyway, I actually lost this for some time so I was happy to find it again. Even though it’s pretty embarrassing, as you know I’m trying to get over that stopping me from posting, so here: posted. Oh, as for what I would change? I don’t particularly like the line beginning with “To remember I used to feel…” it’s a little too riddle me this for the rest of the writing. I prefer it just being simple and to the point. I have no idea what I’d change it to though, this is a part of old me and she can keep it as it was originally written!