I’ve been on the verge of talking about mental health more lately, rocking myself back and forth over it.
I then realized that I don’t often talk about things I try to do to make it better.
This happened in the early hours of the morning and since it involves music I thought I’d involve you.
I’ve been trying to ride out waves of extreme (and random) anxiety. It completely floods over me leaving me cold and in a panic, when there isn’t a specific thing to panic about my brain will bring up whatever it can as a kind of, look, here, this is something you can get upset about!
Well, I actually had myself a little success last night. This might be because I was quite delirious but fuck it, it’s mine. I’m taking it.
This isn’t a new technique. Doctors, therapists, psychologists, pigeons with clipboards (come to think of it, maybe I shouldn’t have let that one in my house), they all kind of work with similar stuff. Honestly, it usually doesn’t do me much good, but for whatever reason I decided to ride with the wave of anxiety last night, and here’s how it went with the aid of a sleep deprived brain and some good buddies.
cue deep breathing…
“I am riding this wave, I am in the sea, I am on a surf board.
It doesn’t matter that I can’t swim I am in control because this is a magical sea and I am riding these waves like a boss.
The sun is shining and the sky is blue and I’m burnin’ through the sky, yeah, 200 degrees
that’s why they call me Mr…
Those aren’t my thoughts, what the?
it is very important you have this song in your head!
I’m a shooting star leaping through sky
like a tiger
defying the laws of gravity
cue visuals of my brain
I’m a racing car passing by
like Lady Godiva
I’m gonna go go go
there’s not stopping meeeeeee
brain enters stage left
I’m burning through the sky yeaaaah
that’s why they call me mr farenheit
I’m travelling at the speed of liiight
I wanna make a supersonic man outta you
cue spotlight on brain
I’m a rocket ship on my way to Mars
on a collision course
I am a satellite
I’M OUTTAAAAA CONTROL
enter my brain in full swing
I’m a sex machine ready to reload
like an atom bomb
About to oooh oooh oh explodeeee
now it’s just showing off
Don’t stop me noooowww
I’m having such a good time
I’m having a ball
If you wanna have a good time just gimme a caaaaallllll
Cause I’m having such a good time
I don’t wanna stop at aaallllll
final act: my brain dancing with anxiety
As you can probably imagine, this did nothing to help me get to sleep. It did help my waking hours not be quite so awful though. In fact, during that time, it was just plain ol’ fun.
I hope this post brings a smile to someone’s face and who knows, maybe you’ll find yourself summoning the Dude and Queen yourself one night!
And the woooorld
I’ll turn it inside ouutttt yeaaaa